Thriving or Surviving in Your Twenties
EPISODE 12 — 1 APRIL 2022
ABOUT THE EP
Have you felt like you've been stuck in a rut? Asking yourself, "is this it?" We reflect on our quarter-life crises, the perks and quirks of being in our 20s, the pressures to hit certain milestones, and the highs and lows of transitioning into adulthood.
THE DETAILS
Recognising a quarter-life crisis
Feeling like we're stuck in a rut
The transition from university to full-time work
Lessons from overcoming a quarter-life crisis
The pressures to "succeed" in your 20s
Attaching your identity to work
Do we have a 5 year plan?
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Wendy
Hey friends, what's been happening? We've been a little bit quiet because we've been quite busy with our personal lives.
Tracy
Yeah, let's start with a little life update, a personal update. What have you been up to, Wendy?
Wendy
So big news for me. I've moved out.
Tracy
She a big girl now. She's an adult.
Wendy
Truly an adult. So I've been moved out for like a week now. And it's been pretty interesting because it's been like unpacking in between working. I didn't take any time off. So it's been quite chaotic. And I haven't been able to, I guess enjoy my space as of yet. But yeah, I'm sure that it will have come with its own challenges. I think like the only thing was, I was logistically planning my head how to best move and now that I've moved in, I feel like that's a lot more relief. But I still need to buy so much stuff.
Tracy
Yeah, we're currently actually sitting in Wendy's new place. Still on the floor as usual, so still on brand.
Wendy
Nothing's changed. Hopefully, the sound is better. We shall see.
Tracy
We won't have Wendy's mum in the background washing dishes, making dinner.
Wendy
Now there's no one to blame. What have you been up to, Tracy?
Tracy
Um, I've just been like really busy in terms of work. But also, I've been doing a lot of trips away. So I went to Helensburgh recently. And then I just actually came back today from a family trip to Oberon, we went mushroom picking. Yeah, just so eventful, random stuff. Like I've been going out a lot. Work has been quite busy. It's been fun. But busy. I haven't had a lot of time to chill, or have me time.
Wendy
I also feel like you play like sports four times a week. And that just takes up too much time as well.
Tracy
Yeah, my family was just saying the other day that sport is basically a part time job for me.
Wendy
But yeah, that's why we've been so quiet on the poddy page. But I think it's important for both of us to take time to ourselves and not kind of have to apologise for it. Life gets in the way sometimes.
Tracy
Yeah, it's okay. We're understanding, obviously, this podcast is our passion project. So we want to put as much as we can into it. But obviously life gets in the way sometimes. So we've got to be flexible in terms of how much work we put into things at certain times.
Wendy
Yeah, for sure. But we've got a good one today, and hopefully a relatable episode. We're going to be talking about quarterlife crises and what it's all about, what are the expectations relating to being 25. But it doesn't actually just affect you when you're 25, you can be in your 20s and your 30s. And then chatting a little bit about what have been our own experiences in terms of feeling that feelings attached to being in a quarter life crisis.
Tracy
Yeah. So to kind of start, like Wendy said, the quarterlife crisis typically happens when you're from probably mid 20s to 30s. But it's not exclusive to then. It's when you're faced with the reality that your life is not what you thought it was going to be. Sounds very dire. But the quarterlife crisis is an emotional crisis of identity and self confidence. So people kind of describe the feeling that maybe you're not being true to who you are, and you're not quite sure who you're supposed to be either. So I think it's just a feeling of just being lost in your life and not knowing where to go from now or like what to do with yourself.
Wendy
Maybe you had all these expectations of where you thought you would be at a particular age, or a particular time period. And because you haven't reached those expectations, that's why you feel like a failure. And I've definitely felt that, but essentially, typically, quarterlife crisis can come in four different stages. So being locked into a commitment, whether that's a relationship, a job, where you live, etc, and feeling like you can't get out of it to feeling stuck. And then the second stage is ending the commitment and then feeling isolated. So obviously, that comes with a lot of change, and then feeling lost because of that change. And then having an internal reflection about kind of what brought that on or the feelings of isolation, and then that's followed by exploring new interest to try and get out of the crises. And then the last stage of it is emerging from the crisis much happier and with a greatest sense of purpose.
Tracy
I actually really like this because I feel like my understanding or my experience with the quarterlife crisis has always been in that first phase. People around me who have are going through a quarterlife crisis, it's just about being locked into a commitment. I think we just talk about that first phase. But we don't see beyond that, which is like getting out of that phase and actually emerging out stronger or happier, like, I don't think that's ever talked about when people talk about their quarterlife crisis. It's just like, I'm having one. And that's kind of the end of the conversation.
Wendy
Yeah. Have you ever experienced a quarterlife crisis, Tracy?
Tracy
I don't know whether I've experienced the full blown quarterlife crisis. I don't know what that looks like. I think it's just different for everybody. But I don't think I've ever like been in a situation where it's been so bad. But I would say, the first time I kind of thought, hmm, maybe I'm having a quarterlife crisis was probably last year, when I was at my previous job, and it was just really stressful. But I wasn't happy. And I was just thinking, like, what am I even doing with my time and my effort, and my energy, like, I'm just spending time doing something that is making me stressed, and I'm not happy about it. And I feel like I'm not achieving what I want to achieve in my life. So I think that was the first time where I'm like, I think I'm having a quarter life crisis. I don't know, not as serious, but it's kind of a thought that was a fleeting thought that I had. So I think that was when I thought I feel a little bit stuck, because I don't know where to go next.
Wendy
And I think coincidentally, it was when you turned 25, right?
Tracy
Yeah.
Wendy
And after you got out of that, obviously, after you change your job, do you feel like you got out of that crisis?
Tracy
Yeah, I'm in such a better place now. Like, mentally, emotionally, physically, I feel like so much better than I was late last year. So 100%, it was a phase that I went through and then got out of and learnt a lot from, and it stemmed from work, but I think it was also a time in my life where I felt quite stagnant. I was like, What am I doing with my life right now? And work triggered it. But it resulted in a personal reflection, and looking at my values and the things I enjoyed, and like, what was important for me? And I think that was like, a whole period of reflection for me.
Wendy
Yeah, what changed in your personal life?
Tracy
I think it was just being more reflective. I think I mentioned it in previous episodes, but it was more so getting mental health help. And then using that as a way to understand, understand myself better, and why I'm feeling the ways I was feeling and then what my values were or are, and how I can pursue things that are aligned with those values, and actually really helped me get out of the rut. Because once I recentred myself to my values, so they were from top of my head, like family, growth, learning, connection, community, like those type of values. Once I figured out what those were, then anything that I pursued, I was like, does it align with my values? Will it help me achieve these values? Or is it being true to these values? So once I figured that out, that really helped me get out of that rut that I was in?
Wendy
I think that's quite relatable in the sense that now if I have look for opportunities, or anything that's going to have drastic change in my life, whether that's like the next job opportunity, or committing to something new, I always think about, is this aligned to actually where I want to go in life? And is it what I've wanted to do? Or is it just like a hindrance?
Tracy
I think it's also like, the external pressures that are put on yourself and that you put yourself or others put on you, and then realising that, like, get rid of all that and think about what makes you happy instead? Do you feel like you've gone through a quarterlife crisis? Or is it something you're going through right now? Or what is your experience with that?
Wendy
I don't think it's necessarily something I'm going through right now. If we relate it to a particular age, I think it was actually when I started my full time job, which was in 2019. And I remember just feeling really unhappy that year, because I got into consulting, and I honestly didn't know what to expect of my job. And I think because throughout uni and I love design so much, I expected my life to feel like agency vibes, you know. And then getting into consulting in Big Four, there was just all this like, stigma and expectations surrounding that and I almost felt the pressure to work hard or overwork myself to live up to that expectation. And it was almost like I was just living for my job as opposed to living for myself. And I just remember, like, you know, struggling to go to sleep and crying a lot. I think I cried the most well and like, you know, calling up friends and stuff just being like, I don't know why I feel this way. But I just know that it just feels really difficult. And I think the reason why I felt like that was a quarterlife crisis. And what brought it on was the fact that I was changing environments from being in university and suddenly feeling like a full time adult, working nine to five. But then because it didn't turn out to be what I expected it to be. That was what brought on the unhappiness. But it was almost like I couldn't make sense of it. It was so strange. Yeah, that's why I was crying. And I personally don't think that I'm much of a crier, but I just couldn't make sense of the situation. And it wasn't until I think, I got used to handling the stress from work that I started to, or I was able to reflect on other parts of my life, and make those better, because I couldn't really change my job necessarily. But then I think I changed my mindset and got used to the environment. And so I think I just handled it a lot better. And I think with age, that comes a lot easier. And I think what got me into the quarterlife crisis was just the shock. Yeah, the changing environment.
Tracy
I can relate to that. I think I also had that same experience going from university to full time job. I think at the time, I didn't think of it as a quarterlife crisis. I just thought, I don't know, like life was kind of like meh. But yeah, when you say that, I'm like, yeah, I definitely agree. Because I did not enjoy my first year full time work. Because I think life, for us at least, was so colourful leading up to that year of the first time going into full time work. We just came back from exchange we had like, really eventful university careers, we had really good high school memories, things like that, and then going to full time work for me at least I was like, this is so like, tedious. It just was so ordinary. And I was like, it's my life gonna just look ordinary for the rest of my life?
Wendy
Exactly. I think you seek change in other parts of your life to make it interesting. But also, I just felt like this feeling of is this it? And I think that's what got me. Like, you work so hard to this point. And then it's always like, the tip of the iceberg, and it's just like, this was anti-climatic.
Tracy
Yeah, I can totally relate. I was like, why did I work so hard to do like HDs, to do so well in school, to get these scholarships, and then I go into work, and it's so like, yeah, like you said, anti-climatic.
Wendy
Yeah. But I feel like we still work in a nine to five job. We're still in the industries that we started. Yeah, but it's completely changed, right? What do you think that is so? Like, how did we get to this point? I think for me, it's just, I'm not living to work now. It's the other way around. Working to live. And I've just accepted the fact that yeah, I'm gonna work that nine to five job for probably the majority of my life. So if I want to enjoy it, I probably need to seek enjoyment at least from my job, like I can change jobs, but be more intentional in what I pick. But also, in addition to that, like have work life balance. And I also feel like because it came with all this expectation that like, you know, when you leave uni, you're going to be a full time adult, it's going to be so exciting, but it's really not.
Tracy
I think for me, it was like making work work for me now. Yeah, like Wendy said, I was working for work. But now work is working for me. Because I feel like I'm more established in my career, I can pick the projects that make me excited, that makes me happy. I can reach out to people, I have more autonomy over what I do, or more confidence in voicing out what I want to do with my career. Whereas in the first year, I just felt like, I was so overwhelmed with a new environment, learning anything new, I just didn't know anything so I think I couldn't enjoy it.
Wendy
Yeah. But also like when you get into a new environment, you're less rebellious, or you're less likely to break the rules. And so I feel like you lose your own voice a little bit, right. And I almost feel like for both of us, we really want to make a difference in the work that we do. And for me in my first year, I just couldn't understand how I could do that. I always felt like I was like being suffocated into a corner. And it was just because not so much because of the job. I don't think I was getting like treated badly at work or anything like that. But it was just like, the environment. I didn't feel as free as I did in university.
Tracy
I think because we're both very ambitious. So I think we're impatient. So it was like, trying to see results instantly in our first year of work. But this takes time for us to really settle into ourselves and like our jobs and knowing exactly what we want to do with our jobs, I think comes with time.
Wendy
I mean, we've talked a lot about career. But I feel like a quarterlife crisis also taps into your, like personal life and the expectations that come with age. And in terms of what you should be achieving, especially in Asian culture, I feel like there is a certain time period that you're expected to get married, have a house, have kids, get rich, and like, so your parents can retire and you can start like feeding them instead of them feeding you right? And I personally feel like because I've just bought my own place, I feel like I've ticked one of those boxes. And I honestly didn't expect to do that at this age. I was expecting maybe like at 28. That was when, you know, I would start to think about those things a little bit more.
Tracy
Did you feel that pressure from your parents or anyone?
Wendy
Not necessarily. I think my parents would love me to stay at home as much as possible. Honestly, I think it was because I was starting to see other people around me do it. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess this is the age that makes sense that I should start doing this. And I think that's what brought it on.
Tracy
I think that's also a thing that happened last year, a lot of people around us were starting to think about buying properties and houses. And that also, I was like, should I be buying property? Should I be buying a home? And that kind of contributed to like, what am I even doing in my life? I'm not even thinking about buying a house right now. Like, why? Why am I not where everybody else is? Yeah, I think a lot of times, maybe, especially with Asian Australians and feeling the pressure to succeed, work hard, get rich, all those things, maybe that also contributes to why a lot of people our age right now feels like stuck or feels like they got they're experiencing a quarterlife crisis.
Wendy
Yeah. Also, if you think about it, the questions that you ask other people, yeah, and the questions that you get. People are always like, oh, like, so what's happening with your life? Like, ah, you guys are gonna move out? Yeah, you're gonna move out soon? Like, what do you think? Like, you know, are you gonna get married with your partner soon? Like when do you guys expect to have kids, or, you know, that kind of stuff. And also, it's a time that everybody's kind of getting engaged, right? So it's just this subconscious, like, feeling or pressure that kind of planted a seed in your mind. Oh, should I start thinking about these things? Or should I go at my own pace?
Yeah, everyone's asking you, Oh, are you gonna move out? Or are you buying property? That's the hot topic right now. And I hate it when I ask, like adding pressure to other people. And on the marriage thing, do you feel a pressure to get engaged, married by a certain age?
Not necessarily. But my mum talks about it all the time. She's like, you know, I'm getting old, like other Asians on the streets of Cabramatta are asking me, do you have grandkids yet? Are any of your daughters married yet? And I think that adds to it right? That other people are asking my mum, and then it gets passed on to me. And so then again, that planted a seed in my head, like should I start thinking about, like, when I should get married and when I should have kids, but also, biologically, you need to think about those things, right? And it's almost like if you don't have a plan for the next five years, at this age, I think that can also bring on a quarterlife crisis.
Tracy
Yeah, I think it's also like 30 seems like the big age where you need to get your shit together.
Wendy
Like 30 and flirty, 30 and thriving. And if you're not, you're like a screw up, right?
Tracy
Yeah, so maybe at 25, you only five years to get your shit together.
Wendy
Yeah. And I think the other thing is like, the added pressure of like, being in a relationship or starting a relationship at this age, I know a lot of like, my friends are going through the same thing. And I'm sure a lot of our listeners are going through the same thing. Like if you're not in a relationship, now there is pressure of, Oh, my God, my time is running out. I feel like that puts you in such a terrible mindset, because you're almost like just racing against time, as opposed to being intentional with the things that you do. And yeah, I don't know, I'm trying not to put that pressure on myself. Because I'm just like, whatever happens, will be. When you're in a quarterlife crisis, it comes from just pressuring yourself to meet expectations.
Tracy
Yeah, like pressure from these are your golden ages. Like you need to live your best life, but it's not true. Like, you can live your best life any year. I feel like if you're supposed to live your best life in your 20s or 30s, what happens afterwards? Like there's so much life to live afterwards. Like, if you're supposed to be at your peak at 30, that makes no sense.
Wendy
I think the fact that it's attached to being 25 like a number. That also adds to it because I know some people who were just so afraid of turning 25.
Tracy
By the way, I love being 25. I feel like now that I'm 25, like, I used to be quite stressed, being in my early 20s, like, oh my god, I'm getting old, I'm getting old. But now when I'm 25, I'm quite young, I'm a young adult. I'm enjoying life, I'm in a stage where I'm confident in my career, I'm confident in myself, I've got enough money to be stable enough to do random things like, it's just going to keep going up. I feel quite young, to be honest. When people go, Oh, I feel so old, I don't feel that anymore.
Wendy
I think it's just like, age is just a number. And I think like, it really depends on how you mentally feel towards the big parts of your life, that being your relationships, and your social life in general, and also your job. And if all those things are aligned, then it's kind of like, okay, everything else will follow right, naturally. But if you don't have answers to those big things, I think that's when you're like, Oh, my God, I'm a failure. What am I going to do with myself? Like, who am I? What am I?
Tracy
Sometimes I still do feel like doubts being at this age, kind of like, oh, now everything's settled, what's next? I think we're always going to be worrying about what's next.
Wendy
I think it's a cycle. I think when you get to like your 40s, or your 50s, I think what it is for them is because they've been through so many life experiences where they've been challenged, they just build up, like a capability or resilience to be able to handle the stress. So the way that they see it, it's just like, You know what, it's not that big of a deal. It'll work out. Because they've had so many instances where it's worked out, no matter how dire it seems.
Tracy
Yeah. But you had to get to over to that other side to be able to be like, all chill and stuff about it. But obviously, if you're listening, and you're going through this crisis at the moment, it's probably like, Oh, my God, you don't see an end to this. But it will get better. From someone who's been in that spot.
Wendy
After you come out of it, I think if you reflect back, I think that's the most important part, right, like reflecting back and understand at what point like what point was the turning point? And how did that contribute to my emotional kind of like health and physical health as well. I think when I got out of my rut, when I started working, it was really when I just realised, like, work wasn't everything. And I started prioritising other parts of my life that I realised made me happy. And that was when, you know, when I got over the hump, it was just like, yeah, life is actually not that bad.
Tracy
Was there a moment that made you think that like, made you go work isn't everything? Was there a moment where you had a realisation? What triggered it?
Wendy
I think it was when I stopped being a grad, and just became a consultant. Because I think there's this added pressure when you're a graduate at a Big Four, that you need to perform or you need to outperform others. And I just started prioritising like other parts of my life that I knew made me happy, which was like my social life, social sports. Actually, it was my concussion. I think that was the most pivotal moment for me. I think the first was grad to consultant and then it was the concussion, because in those three months, I just had so much change in my life. And I think when you have like a big health scare, it makes you realise that, you know, work is not everything. People are actually there to support you when you're going through something really tough.
Tracy
Yeah, like when you had your concussion, I think it was probably a busy time at work, but you can realise how everyone can just cover you. Like you can just suddenly take a week or two weeks off work, and everything will be fine.
Wendy
Yeah, the company will survive without you.
Exactly. But we always feel like, Oh, I can't take that long off work.
And it just feels like the stress snowballs. But in reality, you're just a number.
Tracy
Yeah, a business is business, right?
Wendy
So the learning is, guys, if you're going through a quarterlife crisis, even if you leave a job that makes you unhappy, and you find something else that makes you happy, the company probably is not going to care, like you're replaceable, but who's winning? You are because you're going to a job that makes you happy, right? And I think I realised that like, last year, when I changed jobs, and I moved out of Big Four, I let go of all that pressure, the fact that I worked for Deloitte, and people don't associate me with like, a brand name anymore.
Tracy
Working at a Big Four, is that associated with the expectation to achieve and like be successful in your 20s?
Wendy
Yeah, so 100%.
Tracy
Was that hard to let go?
Wendy
Yeah. So When I accepted my job at Deloitte, I was like, Oh, now I've made it, you know, people know our work, I don't need to explain the company. It's not just a small agency, like people are gonna know the name because of the reputation. And I think you kind of wear it around as an invisible badge of honour. And then when I let go of that, I was like, You know what, the brand is no longer what defines like what I do, but it's more so like, I've moved into a new company where I know design is my passion. So that's what I'm going to talk about, as opposed to, Oh I work at a Big Four. Yeah, I don't lead my story with that anymore. And I think that gave me more meaning. And I think that's what contributed to me getting over the hump and feeling like, you know, I've picked something that actually works for me, as opposed to the other way around. Even though going through that identity crisis was really painful I came out of it was so much growth and understanding of what works for me what I like to prioritise, what makes me happy, as opposed to attaching myself to a brand that makes me look good.
Tracy
I think the good thing about being in your mid 20s is figuring it out, like figuring out who you are, and what you stand for, and not having external things define who you are.
Wendy
And not feeling apologetic about it as well, right. Like having the confidence about yourself to say, like, Oh, this is who I am. And if you don't come along for the ride that's on you, as opposed to it being like your fault.
Tracy
Exactly. Anyway, what's next?
Wendy
Maybe let's move into like looking into the future and thinking about what's on the cards for us the next five years?
Tracy
Yeah. So five years is 30. Do you still feel the pressure to be successful, to have your life all together by the time you hit 30?
Wendy
Right now, I feel like I have my life together, because I've hit a big milestone in terms of moving out. But I do feel the pressure of like, marriage and stuff like that. Yeah, I haven't been in my current relationship for a very long time. And I think that adds to it as well. Because I feel like your timeline is so much shorter. It's not the same as getting into a relationship when you're young. And you can be like, fun and free. It's like, okay, getting into relationship, this has to be intentional. I don't want to waste any time. I'm not here to play games.
Tracy
What's your next life milestone? Do you feel like it's focusing on your relationship, getting into an engagement/marriage kind of phase or?
Wendy
Not to add pressure on my partner... No, but I think it's the fact that some of my closest friends are getting married. And starting to think about having kids as well. Yeah, that's kind of put me in the mindset of, oh, maybe I should start thinking about it. But then I'm also battling with like, the two extremes. I'm also like, let me have fun and be free. I just moved out, you know, let me enjoy this freedom. But it's definitely in the cards. Like, I'm definitely thinking about it. But I think because of the fact that in the past, because I've put so much expectation on myself for a certain experience to turn out a certain way and it hasn't, that led to disappointment. Now I know to set my expectations low. And so I always try and approach everything now with like, it will happen when it happens. Because if you say for an engagement, right, if you pressure your partner to be like, Hey, I'm expecting to get married at this age and you don't get proposed to it at that age, it just leaves a disappointment, and also takes the fun out of as well. So it's just like, take as it comes. I think that's my mentality for the next five years, but definitely thinking about it.
Tracy
Okay, so you've got some rough milestones, but not an exact five year plan.
Wendy
Yeah. Like, I want to get married. I want to have kids. But I'm not going to put a time on it.
Tracy
Yeah, that's a good way to look at it.
Wendy
Yeah. And also, with like, going back to career, I think it's just I would hope in the next five years, I'm still kind of always seeking opportunity, but also making sure that I have a good work life balance and don't let like work take over my life. Hopefully as you get older, you know, work life balance gets easier. As you're young you feel need to hustle so much and like put work first, but then you realise that there's more to life than just a nine to five. Also, don't you think that the pandemic has played a part in people going through identity crisis? I think it's like, made people re-evaluate what really matters to them because you have so much downtime.
Tracy
It's like, you know, the Great Resignation that's been happening, everyone's been quitting, everyone's going like freelancing. Everyone's gone down to part time, like they're just finding that full time work isn't for them. And their current jobs isn't for them. So people are just going out there pursuing their passions, which is very, very cool. And I think for me, too, like, being in the pandemic made me realise that it's time for me to try something new, because I'm just kind of stuck in a position that I'm not happy in. Yeah, and having that time to think about it, and the time to enjoy life outside of work has helped me come to that realisation.
Wendy
Yeah. Do you have a five year plan?
Tracy
I do not. Like for me, I think all that traditional stuff, not really. Like marriage, engagement, kids, it's not in my immediate plan. It's something that I know probably in the future, I would want, but I don't really care for it at the moment, if that makes sense. Like, there's no pressure, I don't feel like by 30 I need to get married. I think I'm almost the opposite, where by 30, I probably should not be married. Because I feel like there's so much for me to do right now. And for me, I want to work overseas, so that's probably my next milestone. And once I do that, we'll see what happens afterwards. But I'm not really putting the pressure on anything else except, I guess pursuing those passions or those dreams, which is, yeah, I want to work overseas, I want to explore a new country, I want to do things that are different. So I think that's something that I want to work towards. By 30, I'm hoping that I am somewhere where I feel like I am continually pursuing that adventure or like that I'm overseas or doing something new. As long as I'm not stagnant, I'm happy.
Wendy
Yeah, same. I feel like it's as long as I'm always surrounded by people who continue to inspire me. And I'm constantly changing with the time like challenging myself to do things differently, then I'm more than happy to let life take me where it's going to take me? As opposed to kind of having a checklist? Well, hopefully, we're gonna be like, 30 and thriving.
Tracy
I mean, we're already 25 and thriving, or 26 and thriving. We'll be thriving at 27, 28, 29. That's one thing about 30 and thriving, I think that's a lot of pressure too. To be like, by 30 we'll be living our best lives. But, you know, if you work towards it every day, you'll get there.
Wendy
Yeah, I also feel like, you know, previously, I was like, by, like, 30, I want to at least be thinking about having kids and stuff. But honestly, like, after getting out of a long term relationship, I'm kind of like, you know what, life can throw you anything, any moment. So don't attach yourself to expectations, because life can change pretty drastically at any point. So, you know, the best way to prepare yourself for that, my favourite quote is, like, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
Tracy
Nice. Yeah, yeah, I think you can tell like, the experiences you've been through by that quote.
Wendy
So I think don't put pressure on yourself to be like, 25 and living your best life. I think we're gonna go through so many cycles as human beings that really challenge us, but you come out of it better on the other end.
Tracy
I think what I would like to do, though, in our community is find out like, who is actually going through a quarterlife crisis, what experiences you're going through and like, also the people who have gone past the quarterlife crisis, how did that happen?
Wendy
Yeah, like, what advice do you have? Because, obviously, with Tracy and I, we have very particular like, lived experiences as Asian Australians, but we're always also keen to learn from other people. Drop us a note.
Tracy
Yeah. And who knows? Like there's still five years before 30 I think, we'll highly likely will hit another crisis.
Wendy
I hate timelines. Like, honestly, I think like when I was 18, I was like, yes, by this age, I want to be this. But honestly, I feel like, I'm at a point where like, I forget what age I am, because it doesn't have that much like riding on it as much as it did when you were like, 18, 21, which were really big years. Okay, well, we'll put up some stories and we'll, you know, chat with our listeners. And yeah, we'll check in with you guys about how everyone's doing. Now on to our most favourite part of the podcast, dinner table questions. So Tracy, what is one good habit and one bad habit you have?
Tracy
I haven't thought about this. Bad habit, the first thing that came into my mind is like, sleeping schedule. I don't think I have a proper sleeping schedule. I just like know I need to sleep early and then don't sleep.
Wendy
You do the opposite, you just stay out.
Tracy
No, not even like it's just like even if I'm at home, I'll be like alright, I've got nothing to do today, I'm ready to go to bed. And I will get into bed at night and go into bed at nine, and then, I'll just watch something. And then it's like 12 o' clock. So I think sleeping, I need to be better at. One good habit, I don't even know. I feel like it's a weird because this time right now, where I am, my life is a little bit like not chaotic but...
Wendy
It is chaotic.
Tracy
Yeah, okay, fine. It's chaotic. So all the good habits that I built early this year, not that it's gone out the door, but some of it has been parked. I'm not reading as much as I...
Wendy
But I do think reading is one of your good habits, compared to a lot of people that I know, I think based on your Goodreads activity. It's one of your better habits, I would say.
Tracy
I guess, yeah, trying to read instead, like when I feel the urge to fill up time, I try to pick up a book instead of picking up my phone. So I guess that's something but I need to keep doing it. Doing it more, I guess. Because when life is a bit chaotic, I forget all these things. I just like don't prioritise it. Everything goes out the window. Yeah, it's just like, I'm too tired. Like scrolling on my phone is easier than picking up a book.
Wendy
Yeah, sometimes I actually feel that when I stress as well. Like I pick up a lot of bad habits when I'm stressed. Like, I just want to spend time with other people, I don't care for my responsibilities.
Tracy
Yeah, it just easier because I think your brain capacity has been used the whole day doing whatever it is. And then by night time, when you have your own time, you don't have the energy.
Wendy
No more juice.
Tracy
The second question, which actually Wendy you put in, if you had a coffee name, what would it be?
Wendy
Tracy, I didn't even answer the first question.
Tracy
Oh, God, I'm going crazy. I'm so sorry. Apologies.
Wendy
My bad habit would be over committing saying yes to too many things.
Tracy
Yep. I can agree to that.
Wendy
This was my resolution saying like, yes less. Honestly not going well.
Tracy
We need to go back to New Year's resolution and remind ourselves what we need to do better.
Wendy
One good habit is I think I'm like really organised. Yeah, that's my one good habit. Like if I say I'm gonna do something, I'll do it. Like I'm a planner. And I like to do well. That's my good habit.
Tracy
Okay. If you had a coffee name, what would it be?
Wendy
Alright, so I prepared this question. Yeah, I love this question. I think it's such a great question.
Tracy
Can you also explain with a coffee name is?
Wendy
Alright, guys, so if you have like a really complicated name, it's like hard to spell. Like, I can't think of an example and I don't want to offend. Say you just have a really like complex name to spell right. Like kind of like my sister. When you go and tell the barista your name, like, you know how they write on your coffee cup, obviously they're gonna get it wrong if you have a complex name. So I know some people who just have an alter ego name, a coffee name. So if you had a coffee name Tracy, what would it be? Mine would be like Alex or something. Personally, I would love to use Alex because I like names that can be used for both genders. And I've always wanted to be like, Alex.
Tracy
I'll do random one, one that will make them go, Huh? Like, avocado? One where they're like, Huh, but like they kind of smile, but they don't know if it's a joke.
Wendy
That's pretty good. Third question. Honestly, my question. So this is currently very on trend on TikTok. I also saw this on Jimmy Fallon, but Tracy, are there more wheels or doors in the world?
Tracy
What is this? Is there an answer to this?
Wendy
Well, okay, look, I googled it. Obviously, nobody has gone and counted how many doors there are in in the world. But you're either team wheels or your team doors.
Tracy
I think there are more doors in the world.
Wendy
I'm team wheels.
Tracy
Wait, can you explain?
Wendy
Why do you think there are doors in the world?
Tracy
Um, I don't know. I feel like there are more buildings or like, entrances to like temples and stuff in the world. And not all countries have... I don't know. Actually I take it back, I feel like wheels are the oldest inventions in the world.
Wendy
I actually didn't think about it in that way. Well, look, my explanation is when you have wheels, they always come in multiples. Not always, technically, most of the time. But I just always think that wheels will always come in into pairs or fours. Like you think about drawers, you think about cars.
Tracy
You know what, I think I'm a wheel person. The more I think about it, I'm a wheel person. Because even in like developing countries, there will be there'll be wheels. So, okay, someone explained to me. I'm obviously not trendy, I'm not on TikTok. How did this come about?
Wendy
Tracy, if you spent enough time on TikTok, you know people have a lot of time on their hands to think about this kind of stuff. Like it's a global discussion. And I thought we should join in. Google says scientifically, there more people on team wheels.
Tracy
Is that the real answer, though?
Wendy
There's no answer.
Tracy
Surely somebody can come up with that answer.
Wendy
Yeah, I suppose. But no one's keeping a record of how many wheels there are in the world.
Tracy
Okay. Well, thank you, everybody, for joining us on this conversation about quarterlife crises, being in your 20s, thriving, surviving, you know, just whatever it is that we've been experiencing at 25 at the moment. Please join in on our conversation at our Instagram @aseatatourtable.podcast. We'd love to hear your experience about whether you have experienced a quarterlife crisis before and how it went, any advice you have for our fellow listeners, we'd love to have a chat. See you in the next episode.
Wendy
Bye