Reconnecting with the Motherland

EPISODE 77 — 26 APRIL 2025

ABOUT THE EP

As second generation Asian Australians learning to embrace our cultural identities, going back to the motherland can be profound. We reflect on going back to our parents' home countries of China and Vietnam and how it's shaped us as adults.

• Transcript

  Note: This transcript was auto-generated by Spotify. It may contain inaccuracies.

  0:10

  So she said back then, like, you don't have Internet if you don't have maps if you get lost.

  0:18

  He should.

  He he was worried that like, if he wasn't around to take them back to China, they wanted, he wanted

  0:22

  them to be able to tell people, this is where I want to go.

  Yeah.

  0:26

  And it would take them back to the hometown.

  Yeah.

  0:28

  Yeah.

  So it's like very, like, memorable because I was like, this is such a spot.

  0:31

  It's the exact spot that Grandpa was teaching us all about.

  Yeah, there's so much significance.

  0:35

  Yeah, it's like the old grandpa's memory of like.

  Exactly.

  0:38

  Yeah.

  So that was really nice.

  0:43

  Hi, friends.

  Welcome to our podcast, A Seat at Our Table.

  0:46

  Candid conversations about the creative pursuits of Asian Australians.

  I'm Tracy.

  0:52

  I'm Wendy.

  We saved your seat.

  0:54

  Come.

  Join us.

  0:55

  Hi everybody, we are back for another episode.

  As promised, we have an episode all about reconnecting to our motherland.

  1:05

  So connecting with our parents's home countries, with our roots, our culture, our heritage.

  I think being Asian Australian, sometimes we may feel like we're caught in between two cultures.

  1:18

  Like some people say that if you're Asian enough or that if you're Australian enough.

  And for me personally, I think growing up in Australia, being Asian, we're constantly having

  1:27

  conversation and battles about like what is my identity?

  Where am I from?

  1:31

  What is my culture like?

  So we thought to kind of continue the reflection.

  1:36

  Like recently I came back from a trip with China, as you guys know, with my parents, where I was

  able to go back to my grandpa's and grandparents is like hometown.

  1:45

  And then Wendy recently, not recently, but travelled to Vietnam with her parents, which is where

  they were born.

  1:51

  So I think we had some learnings from our trip back to the motherland.

  So we wanted to reflect on this experience and how it's helped kind of enriched our sense of

  2:02

  identity and understanding of our Asian cultures.

  So yeah, it's going to be a very interesting episode, I think.

  2:08

  How do you define a trip back to the motherland?

  What is that?

  2:12

  I would consider any trip back to Vietnam my like back to the motherland trip, mainly because my

  parents were born there.

  2:20

  I still have a lot of relatives there.

  So all of my mum's side still live there.

  2:25

  And it's the country that we've always kind of travelled to as a family just while I was growing up.

  So every time I go back, it's it definitely feels like, you know, I'm, I'm reconnecting with like my

  2:37

  cultural roots and also like get really excited about it because I know that I'm going to be really

  well taken care of by my family and I'm going to eat really, really well.

  2:46

  Yeah.

  So I think it's that's kind of what I consider the motherland trip.

  2:51

  Yeah.

  For me, I think I would have said the same.

  2:53

  Like every time I went back to Vietnam, I'd be like, this is the motherland because this is where my

  dad and my mum was born.

  3:00

  And then funnily enough, I consider China like the fatherland because that's where like my grandpa

  was born.

  3:08

  Actually, my grandma was born in Vietnam, but her parents were born in China.

  So originally both family were like from China, but I've never ever been to China until this year.

  3:18

  So I think previously Vietnam would be motherland and then China would be like far distance.

  But now, now that I've been to China, I was like, yeah, it's giving.

  3:27

  It's like more the fatherland.

  And then, yeah, Vietnam is the motherland.

  3:31

  It was a trip that was beyond my expectations, I would say going to China.

  And just in general, I think China has a bad.

  3:39

  Is that a bad Rep I feel like?

  Yeah, I guess so.

  3:42

  We always like, kind of like our only exposure to China is just through media and tourism.

  Yeah, mainland Chinese tourism, because they're the types of people who travel a lot to like,

  3:51

  Australia and other countries.

  Yeah.

  3:53

  And I guess like social media as well doesn't really paint them in a good picture, right?

  Yeah, I feel like actually really bad because when I went to China, I didn't like expect too much of

  4:02

  it.

  And I don't know why, but I feel like Australian media kind of portrays like international students

  4:08

  or like mainland and China's a certain way.

  It may not be positive.

  4:13

  And when I went over there, I was so surprised at how nice everyone was in China.

  I was just like shocked.

  4:19

  And I felt so bad too.

  I was just like, Oh my God.

  4:21

  Like I feel like Chinese people are so like misrepresented in Australia because being in China,

  like, you know, putting the government aside, but like the people themselves, the culture, other

  4:32

  people, everything there was so nice.

  Like, they went out of the way to, like, help me and my family who couldn't speak Mandarin.

  4:38

  Like, that was just so nice.

  And like, I was just like, oh, my God, you don't even hear about this.

  4:42

  Yeah.

  For and from anyone, really.

  4:44

  China is such a underrated tourist destination.

  Yeah.

  4:48

  Just in general.

  Like I think when we were talking about this personally, like in a offline conversation, I was just

  4:54

  saying that it feels like a lot of China is.

  Gate kept.

  4:56

  Yeah.

  Yeah, like I just don't.

  4:57

  See that side that you've described to me?

  Yeah, online.

  5:01

  And it's so like, and I actually before going to China, I thought I'm just going to go there once.

  Like, why would I want to go back to China again?

  5:07

  Like I just want to go back to the hometown, visit the family I've never visited before and then be

  done with China.

  5:12

  But going back, going there, I was like, Oh my God, there's so much of China I want to explore.

  I want to go back.

  5:18

  I was so sad to leave.

  So like, don't sleep on China, guys.

  5:21

  Like I think it's actually really, really like a really rich country to visit.

  But then on the more personal side, like to give you guys background, yeah.

  5:30

  So my grandpa, who's like passed away now, his hometown is in Chantal.

  And half of the trip, my recent trip back to China was to meet his extended family, his sister's

  5:43

  family and his other like, cousins and I mean his other siblings in the hometown.

  And then I guess like reconnect with the hometown and like also for my parents to experience it for

  5:54

  the first time as well.

  Because it's your.

  5:58

  Your dad, it's my dad's dad, Yeah.

  And everyone in the family, like, in terms of like all my aunties and uncles and my cousins,

  6:06

  everyone except my immediate family had already been back to the hometown, right.

  So you feel like a rite of passage for our family, Like my great aunt was, was saying like you guys

  6:14

  are the last families left to come back to China and to visit where your grandpa is from.

  So it felt like a really like monumental moment for my family to kind of have that history lesson to

  6:26

  really see where my roots are from.

  So that's kind of an over quick overview of the trip, which I guess we'll drive deeper into as

  6:34

  episodes go.

  But actually a question for you.

  6:36

  Do you know where your family in China is from?

  I actually recently found out that we're, like my sister said, we're Cantonese people through and

  6:44

  through.

  We're from like the.

  6:45

  Guangzhou Canton or something.

  Yeah, I think nee Canton or Guangzhou, I'm not 100% sure.

  6:51

  I don't remember what she said, but she said that, like, like, I always had assumptions about where

  we were from.

  6:56

  Yeah.

  I always just told people my parents were born in Vietnam, but my ancestors are from China.

  7:01

  Yeah.

  But I never really asked my parents where or if they knew much about China.

  7:07

  And I don't, I think similar to you, my parents have never gone to China before.

  They've never experienced it or kind of gone back to where their parents were born.

  7:16

  And yeah, recently found out that I think we're just from, like, the Cantonese region of China.

  Yeah.

  7:21

  I forget where it is.

  And do you guys have family there?

  7:23

  No, no, no family there.

  Yeah.

  7:25

  Like, for us, I think my grandpa, like, before he passed, he was like the biggest anchor to China

  because I think everyone else, like all my aunties, uncles, mom, dad, even grandma, they were born

  7:35

  in Vietnam.

  So I feel like that's where culturally we get the influence from.

  7:39

  But my grandpa, when he was alive, he always taught us to remember where we're from, which is China.

  And he like, read and wrote in Chinese.

  7:46

  And he was the one who taught us how to speak.

  Did you?

  7:49

  And like, he really kept that connection back to China alive.

  So I think growing up, I always knew that this trip is like something we're going to do.

  7:58

  Yeah.

  It's just like a matter of when we're going to do it and when can we have the means to do it.

  8:01

  Especially like knowing that his younger sister is there and his family is there as well.

  I think it's also like really special for you because speaking de Jill in Sydney, yeah, it's not a

  8:11

  very big community, no.

  So going back to where that kind of like language is very prominent, yeah, is so special.

  8:19

  Yeah, it's actually like so mind blowing, like for my digital listeners, like I feel like you just

  got to go experience it.

  8:26

  Like go back to like the areas where digital is prominent in China and it's so wack because you're

  walking around the street and everyone is speaking digital, but that is the main language.

  8:35

  And I think I told Wendy before that, like I always thought in Australia, like, oh, I tell people

  like, oh, the dialect I speak is a dying dialect.

  8:43

  And I think it is because in China, Mandarin is the, the, the language they teach and they speak.

  But when I went to China, I went to Chantal, everyone was speaking digital to each other, even like

  8:55

  the young people, like my sisters were like, oh, my God, the young, the young group behind us, the

  friends, they're all speaking digital to each other, which is like, so mind blowing.

  9:04

  And then like getting to the car and like the, the mainstream radio speaking digital and like what?

  The shopkeepers are speaking the language.

  9:11

  And it's like, wow, there's a place where like my language, my daughter gets thriving.

  Yeah.

  9:17

  And it's almost like I would love to send my kids to this.

  Like, it's almost like you want to do a semester abroad there to, like, immerse yourself in the

  9:24

  language.

  It's really interesting, but the dialect is very different.

  9:27

  But we'll dive into that later.

  But it's, like, very crazy.

  9:31

  Yeah.

  But let's start kind of like, how did you feel being, I guess, Asian and Asian straighted in

  9:38

  Vietnam, like back in the motherland?

  Like, did you feel like a foreigner or did you feel like you were at home?

  9:43

  Like, did it feel like you were coming home?

  Yeah, I think it always feels like I'm coming home because I've just been there so many times.

  9:49

  I think we'll have very different experiences.

  Like I know what to expect going back to Vietnam.

  9:54

  I know who the people are there because I've just grown up with them.

  I know, you know, the place where we always go is going to be the same place every time.

  10:03

  Yeah, it's Joel on that neighbourhood where all the cancer people live.

  So.

  10:07

  When I go back, I feel comfortable.

  I feel like I'm.

  10:10

  I'm going back to the other side of my family.

  And it's like my mom's side of family, who I do hear about often because she stays in touch with

  10:17

  them.

  Yeah, but it's just like reuniting with family is what it feels like more so I don't think I feel

  10:24

  like I like stand out necessarily.

  Like not as much as you would being, say, an Asian in Europe.

  10:31

  Yeah, it's different, right?

  Oh yeah.

  10:33

  But the thing in Vietnam is they know when you're not.

  From Oh yeah, the way you dress, like everything.

  10:39

  And they're very, very cool about it as well.

  And when I was younger, I remember like my trip in like year 10 maybe like whenever my sisters and I

  10:47

  would walk past certain groups of like young guys, they're like wolf whistle at us and stuff.

  So I think like that, that's probably the only, only experience about being like just a foreigner in

  10:57

  Vietnam.

  You can kind of have those experiences sometimes, but I never felt like, you know, anyone was being

  11:04

  kind of exclusionary of us or anything like that or looking at us differently because of like where

  we're from.

  11:12

  If anything, you get treated better because you're from a different.

  Country.

  11:15

  I can speak English.

  I can speak English in, you know, Yeah.

  11:18

  And I feel like I understand enough of the language to be able to kind of like, know what's going

  on.

  11:24

  I think if I had no Vietnamese whatsoever, I'd just be completely.

  Lost.

  11:28

  Yeah.

  Yeah.

  11:30

  Well, kids, yeah, I've been to Vietnam a few times and like, definitely, I know when I went to

  Vietnam, like I stood out, like, you know, like you said, like I think because we look Chinese.

  11:39

  Yeah, we don't look.

  I don't think we look Vietnamese.

  11:42

  I think I look more Vietnamese than Chinese.

  Maybe I don't know.

  11:44

  Maybe, I don't know.

  I've been told that a lot.

  11:46

  Oh, really?

  Yeah, by just other people, Yeah.

  11:48

  Because like.

  Technically, we don't have Vietnamese.

  11:51

  Blood.

  Yeah.

  11:52

  Right.

  But I don't like I feel like I don't look like Mandarin.

  11:57

  I don't I don't know what being met like.

  Yeah.

  11:59

  Mandarin, like, you know, yeah.

  But like, I felt like, like when I every time I went to Vietnam, yeah.

  12:06

  I still feel like a foreigner, but maybe because I've only been when I was a bit younger, but now in

  China, it was weird because like, it's a mix of feeling like it's just nice to just look like

  12:16

  everybody else.

  Yeah.

  12:17

  Like a lot of people spoke to us in Mandarin because I assumed that we spoke Mandarin.

  Like, not that I like it just felt like nice to be the majority, yeah.

  12:23

  You know what?

  I feel this.

  12:24

  I feel this.

  When I go to Japan, yeah.

  12:26

  Because you just like if you're, you're not sticking out like so.

  Far yeah, like I just like, no offence.

  12:32

  Like, nice not to be surrounded by white people all the time.

  Like facts.

  12:36

  It's like, and everything just made sense.

  Like, how to describe it is like China.

  12:40

  It feels like Chinatown, but forever, like everywhere it looks like Chinatown.

  Yeah.

  12:46

  And the posters, the models, you see, like, everyone's just, like, Asian.

  And it's just like being in an Asian country where, like, your actions aren't questioned.

  12:56

  Like, why you do certain things isn't questioned.

  You don't question their rituals, what they do.

  13:02

  Like even like Scott toilets, you don't question.

  Like when people push in, you know, some of that, it's kind of like, oh, it's just part of the

  13:08

  culture.

  You know, like this makes sense because like my parents are like this or like my grandparents are

  13:11

  like this.

  Like I don't question it.

  13:13

  Whereas sometimes when you look different and being like Asian, Australian, Australia, sometimes it

  feels like I need to justify why I'm doing certain things or even the food's not being questioned.

  13:23

  You know, like you eat stuff and it's like just part of life, you know, like it's all like, oh,

  what's, what are you?

  13:29

  Eating.

  You know, yeah, like every.

  13:31

  It's kind of nice to feel like a bit of belonging and not have my identity questioned.

  But obviously because we didn't speak Mandarin and we're English speaking from Australia, I, they're

  13:44

  still a part of me was that was like a foreigner.

  As soon as I had to communicate, communicate, it was kind of like, sorry, I speak English.

  13:49

  It's always like you're disappointed.

  Yeah, because I expected so much from you.

  13:53

  Yeah, I was like, you might have to, please don't speak to me like, I don't know.

  Yeah, I'm like, sorry, English.

  13:59

  And it's funny because like, through our time in China, we had so many people, like, speak to us in

  Mandarin and then we go, oh, sorry, English.

  14:06

  And then they were like Google Translate or they were like.

  But you look Chinese.

  14:11

  I don't understand.

  Yeah, they were literally like how more people go like, oh, you look Chinese.

  14:15

  Yeah.

  And then we're just trying to explain, yeah, that we were from Australia, like, yeah.

  14:20

  And then, oh, we would speak Cantonese, yeah.

  Or digital and then I speak to Mandarin and we can't reply.

  14:25

  And they're like, I don't get it.

  Like you're you speak Cantonese and digital, but you can't speak Mandarin.

  14:29

  They just did not understand that.

  Yeah.

  14:30

  Because in China, Mandarin is the main language.

  You can speak the other dialects you have to know to speak Mandarin.

  14:36

  If anything, it's just more confusing than.

  It's yeah, for them than it is for us.

  14:39

  Like there's even a little girl that me and my cousin met when we're watching a show and we would

  talk and turn Google Translate and she literally put in.

  14:46

  But you look Chinese.

  Yeah, yeah.

  14:51

  But yeah.

  So it's an interesting experience.

  14:55

  What was your experience like with like language barriers during your trip?

  You mentioned a couple there.

  15:00

  Yeah.

  So like I, I guess we had 4 languages that were juggling, juggling between because first went to

  15:08

  Hong Kong and like, not gonna lie, I felt like my Canto was like thriving.

  Like I'm gonna lie.

  15:12

  I just spoke Cantonese.

  Oh my God, that's crazy.

  15:14

  I never thought I could speak.

  I never thought I could speak Cantonese.

  15:17

  But like when people are like asking you questions in Canto, like I can recycle those words and

  answer back, you know me and even audit in Cantonese, like to taxi drivers, I was able to like say

  15:27

  some words and like make conversation and I was like, I'm so impressed with myself.

  Tracy hasn't even spoken Cantonese to me.

  15:32

  No, I don't have to be surrounded by like Canton people with no other.

  Option.

  15:36

  Yeah, like I was spoken in Cantonese to you.

  As you were growing up, yeah.

  15:40

  As like code language.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  15:41

  But you've never spoken in Cantonese.

  No, but I think I, I feel, I think I feel more confident now even with going back in like to Gavin's

  15:46

  mom.

  Like I was able to say a few words as well as normally I would just speak full English, but like the

  15:50

  other day I was able to say like a couple of words here and there and then I was like, I feel more

  confident.

  15:55

  My Cantonese, you might even be more confident than me in some ways.

  No.

  16:01

  I was like, I would speak Canto in Hong Kong, but I was also afraid of saying the wrong things.

  Yeah.

  16:07

  Yeah.

  Just because I know that my Cantonese suck.

  16:09

  True.

  But I think I felt safe there because I knew they could speak English as well.

  16:14

  Yeah.

  So I'll do English and Canto at the same time to, to practise my canto.

  16:19

  So that was a positive experience.

  But then language barrier, I guess.

  16:22

  Mandarin was such a struggle.

  Like we learned like wujitao like.

  16:27

  Wujitao, Jungwin.

  Yeah, wujitao like to be cheese NI hao.

  16:32

  Oh, it's so embarrassing.

  Like actually this is really embarrassing.

  16:36

  So we ordered ice cream and then instead of instead of saying sheshe, I said NI hao.

  Oh, you're right.

  16:46

  It's just on OverDrive.

  Like so confidently so like NI hao.

  16:51

  And I'm like fuck, all my cousins were around me.

  They're all laughing at me.

  16:53

  I was just like, this is so embarrassing.

  I mean, sheshe sorry, that's really, it's so simple too, you know.

  17:02

  So it was a struggle and they didn't speak English over there.

  But what I found it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

  17:09

  Like what?

  Do you mean like getting?

  17:10

  Around getting around, yeah, yeah, yeah.

  Especially in Beijing, because is this.

  17:13

  Because everything's just so high tech.

  No, I think younger people can say a few words and then I think it helped that we couldn't speak

  17:22

  Mandarin so upfront we're just like English.

  Yeah.

  17:25

  So then they would try to use hand actions and some of that.

  But I think if we were, if we could speak some Mandarin and start speaking to Mandarin, then they

  17:31

  replied in Mandarin and we couldn't understand them, it would be even harder.

  Yeah, yeah.

  17:35

  This is actually how I feel whenever I go to any country.

  Yeah, I'm so grateful that my first language is English because it is so universal that, you know,

  17:44

  you can ask for an English menu and you won't be like, struggling.

  Because I saw in Japan people struggle with like, they would ask for an English menu, but it's very

  17:52

  clear they're from like, say, Korea.

  Yes, and then they would still have to like try to decipher the.

  17:57

  English.

  Yeah, exactly.

  17:58

  And it's so universal and we're so lucky that we can speak it so fluent.

  Yeah.

  18:03

  And have that luxury of, like, having that second option.

  Yes, agreed.

  18:06

  And people making the effort to speak English to you too.

  Yeah, but but in China, I would say like history that don't know English.

  18:12

  It's like a bit wack.

  My dad, my dad, I was so shocked.

  18:15

  He's.

  He's like, oh, my God.

  18:16

  I spoke to the police in English and he can't understand me.

  He's like, what?

  18:19

  How can you work in?

  How can you be a police officer?

  18:21

  You can't understand English.

  And I was like, dad, you're in China.

  18:23

  Like, yeah, they're not gonna understand it.

  Yeah, well.

  18:27

  That is such an interesting experience for your parents, though, because, like, they don't speak

  much English in Australia, no.

  18:33

  And they can barely get by.

  And they're trying to do that in a different.

  18:36

  Yeah.

  Literally.

  18:37

  Oh OK.

  And my dad was so annoying.

  18:38

  He was like showing his Australian password to everybody.

  Hey, wait, where are you from?

  18:43

  Australia.

  And I was like, you don't have to take your passport out.

  18:45

  And he would take his pass out like Australia, Australia.

  And he's so proud of being Australian.

  18:50

  I was like you telling them was enough, like you didn't have to bring out your Australian passport

  as well.

  18:54

  That's kind of sweet, though.

  Yeah.

  18:56

  But yeah, so it was funny.

  And then digital wise, when we're with our family, it's pretty hard to understand their accent.

  19:03

  So it's good that my family was there to help translate some things as well.

  But yeah, those were kind of my experiences with language during my trip there.

  19:11

  Yeah, concepts that I've had the same breadth of experience as you, but I always tell people that I

  can like a very common question I get is like when I say my parents are born in Vietnam, but I speak

  19:23

  Cantonese at home.

  The follow up question is always, oh, so can you speak Vietnamese as well?

  19:28

  And I always say like, I have just picked up Vietnamese naturally growing up just being around other

  Vietnamese people, working at woollies, having Vietnamese just spoken to me, even though you're

  19:40

  like, I don't understand Vietnamese, I just keep speaking to you Vietnamese.

  So I think you just pick it up naturally.

  19:45

  And lucky for me, like in Ho Chi Minh City, the Vietnamese is feels like the same as what you hear

  in Australia.

  19:53

  So I can kind of like pick up what people are saying and get the essence of what's being said.

  So I don't feel like I was ever out of my depth.

  20:01

  And mainly because I'm always around my family so I have my cousins to help.

  But.

  20:06

  Because this trip, I spent like a week in Ho Chi Minh City by myself with Chris.

  We got by just using Grab.

  20:12

  It's really easy now because you just order.

  You don't have to say word to the taxi driver and you can just get to your point from A to B really

  20:20

  easily without ever having to speak a word of Vietnamese or struggle to translate.

  So I think we definitely had the luxury of like, you know, tech and those sorts of apps.

  20:28

  And I don't think I ever used Google Translate once because where we ate, I was very familiar with

  the food, for example.

  20:36

  And so I knew exactly like to order, what to order and how to order those foods.

  So I'm really grateful that like growing up, that's kind of the knowledge I've built up and it's

  20:43

  almost enough to get by.

  Yeah, it's kind of being caramelised sometimes.

  20:46

  Yeah, yeah.

  I would say it's like your experience in Hong Kong and your breadth of like, I guess your Cantonese

  20:53

  age.

  I'm the same Vietnamese.

  20:54

  Like I had no enough to be able to say like I just want one of these or one of these or like thank

  you or I don't want that.

  21:00

  Yeah, yeah.

  So enough to get by, but I don't think I ever struggled in and I feel confident speaking Vietnamese

  21:07

  over.

  There.

  21:07

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

  It's a actually pretty fun experience, but it was kind of nice to just practise my Cantonese and it

  21:13

  was like practise my digital.

  I think I got so much better at confidence with language.

  21:18

  Yeah, yeah, Google Translate is so good.

  I actually didn't even realise like Google Translate ahead.

  21:23

  Did you as well?

  No, no, no.

  21:25

  It's awful for Chinese.

  Oh yeah, you go like English to Mandarin.

  21:29

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

  Did you for the do you people, there's a app called what what TC says, like what digital says.

  21:37

  And then it's like a dictionary for English to digital.

  So sometimes we use that, yeah.

  21:41

  How did the trip impact your understanding of your own identity?

  I think it's really interesting because I think leading up to the trip I would tell people that

  21:49

  culturally, ethnically I'm Chinese, but culturally I'm Vietnamese.

  Like I think I thought like, oh, you know, we eat more Vietnamese food, culturally more Vietnamese.

  21:59

  But then like being in China, I realised actually I'm I'm quite Chinese as well and I don't think I

  realised that.

  22:05

  And like I was able to just relate so much with the Chinese culture.

  And sometimes in my eyes I see did you in Chinese as two different things?

  22:11

  Yeah, but I can see how they interweave.

  So I think it really made me appreciate my Chinese roots.

  22:20

  And then a big thing was I was able to understand my family history.

  So like some history lesson, my last name, my last name is True, which is a Vietnamese translation

  22:31

  of Zhao.

  And the Zhao family is from Chantal in this like province area.

  22:36

  And we did a 2 day trip back to that area where the Zhao family originated.

  And it's like that's crazy.

  22:42

  It's really crazy because it's like literally descendants from royalty because it's like the Song

  Dynasty or something like that With the Zhao emperor.

  22:50

  He was like the first guy in the Zhao family.

  And we're like the 26th generation of the Zhao family.

  22:56

  And going back to this town, there's literally like historical science council science that says

  this is the Zhao family and ancestral hall.

  23:08

  And it's like a little temple where you can pray to the ancestors of the Zhao family, which is like

  our ancestors.

  23:13

  And there's always images or like paintings of like these kings and emperors and descendants of the

  family.

  23:19

  And my, my family was explaining to us that like everyone from this town, majority of them are like

  Zhao people.

  23:26

  It's really crazy.

  It's just.

  23:27

  They're all like your your cousins.

  Yeah, they're like everyone's come and see.

  23:30

  Yeah.

  You know, yeah.

  23:31

  Like and you're royalty, basically.

  Yeah, basically we're royalty.

  23:35

  So I don't know, it's like very cool because I didn't like, I feel like being in Australia, you

  don't think you could.

  23:39

  I didn't think we could trace your my roots that far.

  Yeah, well, like in Australia it's really hard to becauseitslikeancestry.com that shit is.

  23:48

  Yeah, it's not for Asian.

  Yeah, it's not for Asian people and the.

  23:50

  Daughter and Asian.

  You always hear like, you know, like Australians or like white people go like, oh, my great great

  23:56

  grandfather was like a this I wish this end or whatever, right?

  And then I just went, I just know as far as my grandparents, but I don't know beyond that.

  24:05

  But then actually going back to China and then my great aunt taking us to his hometown.

  You can actually trace our history all the way back to ancient China.

  24:13

  That's insane.

  It's insane.

  24:15

  We have a history book.

  I need to show you this.

  24:17

  Like it's like a thick yellow binded book and it's the story of our family from the very beginning

  to like now or whatever like that.

  24:26

  So it tells you which generation where we're from.

  It's only Chinese, but they gave us a copy.

  24:31

  Oh, cool.

  So like only the sons, apparently only the sons of the family could have their family book.

  24:37

  So my dad has a copy and they gave a copy to my young cousin Alan to give to his dad.

  Wow.

  24:44

  Yeah.

  Cuz like my grandparents had the copies ready for us.

  24:47

  Yeah yeah.

  To take home.

  24:48

  And it apparently it's like the community puts it together and they print copies of it to give to

  the family members.

  24:54

  So it's really special.

  And it just made me really proud of like MyHeritage.

  24:59

  Yeah.

  And like feeling more connected to my grandpa as well because I.

  25:02

  Passed away.

  Yeah.

  25:03

  That's so special.

  I have to say this.

  25:05

  Yeah, I need to show you this.

  It's crazy, it feels so made up.

  25:08

  Yeah, it's really crazy.

  Yeah.

  25:10

  Yeah, well, that's hard, hard to follow.

  I feel like my trip was like another just addition of all the trips that I had as a child.

  25:24

  If anything, just going back as an adult that's almost 30, I have like my own life kind of

  established, like separate from like living with my parents.

  25:34

  And I feel like having that perspective on life made me kind of like pull myself into the shoes of

  like other families and the life that they've created for themselves in Vietnam, especially my

  25:46

  cousins.

  And I think the thing that it just helps me kind of see or build more clarity around is like the

  25:53

  gratitude that I have for my parents moving to Australia.

  Like not to kind of have to elaborate on it too much.

  25:59

  My cousin's having to move to different countries to work and find like enough money is like it's so

  common in Vietnam for people to move to like say the Philippines or Thailand, for example.

  26:12

  And it's, it's actually like illegal work basically.

  So I think seeing like some of my cousins have to go through that as well.

  26:19

  It's all seems so complicated.

  It just made me.

  26:21

  Realise like just how good you put your life at risk to like go to those countries and find work as

  well.

  26:27

  Yeah, so I think like, really connecting to my family on that and understanding what everyone else

  is going through because everyone was coming back for my cousin's wedding.

  26:35

  And so, you know, just hearing first hand what they're experiencing and the hardships that they're

  going through.

  26:41

  In a lot of ways, I was like, oh, wow.

  Like the things that I complain about in Australia, they're just sort of like trivial in comparison

  26:48

  to these guys who like, literally just like, looking for opportunities for survival.

  Yeah.

  26:53

  Yeah.

  So I think it just opened up my eyes to that part of like, I guess being grateful for my parents and

  27:00

  what they kind of set up for.

  Us.

  27:01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  And you know how they always say like, you know, you don't know how much we sacrifice for you.

  27:06

  You don't know how much like we've done for you, everything we do is for you.

  I think it just helps me see that a lot more clearly.

  27:12

  And I was able to kind of.

  Put two and two.

  27:15

  Together and feel like a lot more grateful for it.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  27:18

  So I think that was just like the thing that I took out of the trip the most.

  But I think in general, like, I don't think my identity changed that much.

  27:25

  Like I love going back to Vietnam.

  I don't shy away from it.

  27:27

  I love telling people about it.

  And even like when I went back to work, like showing people photos and stuff because I think a lot

  27:34

  of people don't travel together.

  If anything is becoming more popular now, but just showing my workmates who like are non Asian, all

  27:41

  the different things that we experience and my cousin's like wedding celebrations and stuff and

  explaining that to them, how insane it is over there.

  27:49

  Yeah.

  Yeah.

  27:49

  Do you find, do you identify more with like the Vietnamese culture or the Chinese culture?

  Vietnamese for sure, because like you, I think like, well before you went to China, like I think we

  27:58

  would have looked at it the same.

  Yeah.

  28:00

  A lot of the food I eat is Vietnamese.

  A lot of the food that I'm more familiar with, all the traditions that I'm more familiar with are

  28:07

  Vietnamese, right?

  But it's also hard for me to understand when, say, my mom cooks, for example, what was inspired by,

  28:15

  say, her time in Hong Kong, living in a refugee camp there, Because I think a lot of her cooking is

  kind of influenced by that versus like, what, what's like Vietnamese?

  28:25

  And I think for me, I identify like with the Vietnamese culture a lot more than like Chinese or

  Cantonese.

  28:32

  I feel like for me, I've always seen you as a Cantonese person.

  Really.

  28:35

  I've never really seen you as a Vietnamese person.

  Yeah, I don't know.

  28:38

  It's it's weird like.

  Yeah, I feel like your family's canto.

  28:41

  I never would have said your family's Vietnamese, which is very, I think, because I feel like you

  guys speak the language.

  28:46

  Yeah.

  Your parents speak Vietnamese to each other.

  28:48

  No.

  Yeah.

  28:49

  But I think a lot of the like, the lifestyle we live feels very like Vietnamese, whereas like the

  cultural traditions in terms of what my parents believe to be important and stuff is a very

  29:02

  Cantonese way in some ways, yeah.

  Yeah, that's interesting.

  29:05

  Yeah.

  Cuz like outside your mom's a very Canton mom, you know?

  29:08

  Yeah.

  So maybe it's like, yeah, the culture and stuff like that.

  29:12

  But yeah, it's so hard to yeah, it's very hard to separate.

  But yeah, I feel the same because I feel like at times I feel very Chinese, like we celebrate

  29:19

  Chinese New Year, we don't do dirt or whatever.

  Yeah, true.

  29:25

  But then we more Vietnamese.

  Food Do you think that you had that realisation after this trip?

  29:32

  No, I think it's been ongoing.

  It's hard to separate the two, you know.

  29:37

  Yeah.

  But like, yeah, I would say like a lot of, like you said, a lot of Chinese cult traditions.

  29:42

  I always knew before the trip that we do a lot of Chinese traditions.

  We pray.

  29:45

  I should, I should.

  Vietnamese people pray too, Yes.

  29:48

  It's.

  So hard.

  29:50

  There's a temple.

  I'll just say we've got a temple.

  29:52

  But wait, vitamin C will also do that so.

  It's really, it's really hard because I don't think we have a benchmark.

  29:56

  Yeah.

  But what is considered Chinese, Chinese or Vietnamese?

  30:00

  Yeah, because I go back to when I go back to Vietnam and because I'm situated within the Cantonese

  neighbourhood.

  30:06

  Yeah, even then it's so hard for me to.

  Well, that's what I mean.

  30:08

  Yeah, yeah.

  Because it's up to Chinese neighbourhood, Yeah.

  30:11

  But I don't know what is like that versus what's.

  Yeah.

  30:14

  All I know is like Vietnamese people and Cantonese people don't see themselves as each other.

  Yeah.

  30:21

  Like don't, don't kind of like, like my parents are like, we're not Vietnamese people.

  Oh.

  30:26

  Yeah, they will take their cancer.

  Yeah.

  30:27

  Chinese.

  Yeah.

  30:28

  Yeah, but they grew up in Vietnam, so I'm like, I'm confused now.

  Yeah.

  30:32

  So there's no one telling us, like, what's what is the delineation between the two.

  That's true.

  30:37

  Yeah.

  But I think that's what makes us really like, what makes our lives so unique.

  30:41

  Yeah.

  Because we get to experience so much of like this, this mix of cultures, and we can build a, like,

  30:47

  better understanding of each other through that way, you know?

  Yeah.

  30:50

  But then it's also really confusing.

  It is confusing, but that's why I'm Chinese, Vietnamese, Australian and I don't know what's what.

  30:56

  But yeah, that's an interesting conversation.

  Let's talk about family.

  31:00

  Do you say, I guess you already asked this, but do you still have family in those countries?

  And how was it like connecting with them or reconnecting with them?

  31:06

  Yeah, so to put it into respect Evening paint you a picture of my family tree.

  So my dad's side, we still have one auntie in Vidal, but everyone else is in Australia.

  31:18

  My mom said she's the youngest of 123456 children.

  Wow.

  31:25

  Yeah, she gets older.

  Childhood vibes, Yeah, I think.

  31:27

  Because she was the only one that moved to Syria, so I think she had to mature very quickly.

  But yeah, my two of my aunties, no sorry, one of my aunties is still around and my 2 uncles are

  31:40

  still around and the other two aunties have passed away unfortunately.

  Yeah, I think like going back to Vietnam this time around.

  31:49

  Growing up, I saw my cousins very often, but after that, the last time I went in 2019, I didn't see

  any of my cousins because everyone was away working.

  31:58

  But this time around, because we had the wedding for my cousin, a lot of people came back.

  And I think it was really nice reconnecting with them because a lot of them got married.

  32:07

  All of them already moved out, built their own life.

  And so seeing people again and having more mature conversations with them as an adult was really

  32:15

  nice.

  But it also meant through those deeper conversations, I understood people's struggles a little bit

  32:20

  more.

  And yeah, I felt really helpless in some ways because I was like, I feel like I'm in the position to

  32:26

  help.

  And as much as you want to help, it's also like a bit tricky because you don't want to kind of like

  32:34

  offer almost like too much because I feel like people can take.

  Advantage.

  32:37

  It's almost like a short term.

  Thing.

  32:39

  Rather than like a long term.

  Yeah, so it's very complicated to navigate because I think in my mind I'm like, I will take my mom's

  32:47

  lead on this of how to help people.

  But in I also like if it was in Australia and you see someone struggling, you want to help, you

  32:54

  know?

  So I kind of felt like, I don't know, a bit conflicted in that sense.

  33:00

  But yeah, other than that, like connecting with everyone again was really nice.

  Yeah, yeah.

  33:04

  How about for your like your mom connecting with her family again?

  My mom stays in touch with my, like, cousin.

  33:10

  That's a lot, yeah.

  But every time she goes back to Vietnam, she's like, reconnecting with, like, some old, like, school

  33:16

  teachers or, or friends from school.

  Yeah, yeah.

  33:20

  But I don't see most of it because she's always, like, just literally every day she just leaves us

  and she's like, bye, I'm off to see another friend.

  33:27

  But I think for her, she's like, she's really happy when she gets to reconnect with people.

  So I think it's less about me and more about like her and what being back in her home country like

  33:35

  allows her to do.

  And does your dad have people to reconnect with fucking?

  33:39

  Yeah, they're just, can they just drink it?

  Smoke, to be honest.

  33:42

  That's a classic.

  Video Yeah, yeah, my dad was like seeing karaoke heaps with the guys on the street, my mom's street

  33:49

  and yeah, it's just like funny because like, he would drink a lot and then just go back to the hotel

  and like, sleep that sounds like.

  33:54

  My yeah too.

  Yeah, yeah.

  33:57

  But in Australia, like he doesn't really do that much.

  No.

  34:00

  Yeah, only every now and again.

  Yeah, Yeah.

  34:02

  How about you?

  Yeah, so I think I mentioned.

  34:05

  So I still have my grandpa's family in China.

  So we've got the main one is his youngest sister.

  34:12

  So my grandpa was 20 when he migrated from China to Vietnam.

  And at that time, his sister wasn't born yet.

  34:20

  Oh, wow.

  Yeah.

  34:21

  So this is his younger sister.

  And then he only met her in much further down in adult life when he was able to go back to China.

  34:28

  So she's got a family of nine kids.

  Oh, it's crazy. 9 kids crazy.

  34:34

  And like, her youngest is our age.

  This woman's like 7072 or something like that.

  34:39

  Oh shit, she's been popping out babies.

  But like they were explained to me that back in the days, obviously China favoured men.

  34:47

  Yeah.

  Oh, boys.

  34:49

  So.

  She had 6 girls before she had her first boy.

  34:52

  Damn.

  The 7th is the boy.

  34:55

  And then the funny story was that apparently like there was some lady who was like gossiping and was

  like so weird that you only have one boy and like 6 girls.

  35:03

  Yeah.

  And then.

  35:03

  And then so she really wanted another boy, so she had to had another one who was a girl.

  And then the last one was a boy, which is how she ended up with 9 kids.

  35:10

  Damn.

  Yeah.

  35:11

  But so it's like my great aunt's family.

  So they moved from the hometown to Shenzhen.

  35:17

  So it was really nice to like meet them.

  Like I met her once before because she's come to Australia before, but I never really chatted to

  35:24

  her.

  Yeah.

  35:25

  Because I was so busy with all family and stuff like that.

  So it was like, nice to, like, meet my great aunt.

  35:29

  And I see so much of my grandpa in her.

  Like, they look very similar, the same features.

  35:34

  But her attitude and the way she goes about life is very similar to him.

  Yeah.

  35:39

  She's very like, go, go, go, go.

  Like, nobody can help me.

  35:42

  I'm an independent woman.

  Like, she does everything so quickly, like carrying her luggage all by herself down the railway.

  35:48

  Like, my grandpa was always like, so stubborn, didn't want any help as well.

  So like, I was like, wow, they're like the same person.

  35:55

  So it was very cool.

  And then like, meeting her kids, which like, I guess closer to my age, but I guess they would be my

  36:01

  dad's cousins.

  Yeah.

  36:03

  It was like, so fun because, like, the boys speak a little bit more English.

  So like, speaking like, being able to practise detail but also fill it in with English sometimes was

  36:12

  really helpful.

  And then so that's Shenzhen.

  36:14

  And then went to Chantal, where my grandpa's two sisters are still there.

  Other two sisters, like who's like kind of older and a bit more like frail, I would say.

  36:26

  I still in the hometown and they've got kids who live out.

  But they came back to the hometown and took us around.

  36:33

  Oh.

  Cool.

  36:34

  Yeah, so like 3 of my dad's cousins came and like, met us in the hometown and like took us around.

  So it was just like very wholesome, like just being with family and feeling so embraced.

  36:45

  I feel like, wow, like this is my family.

  Like there's no doubt about it.

  36:48

  Like it was just like, oh wow.

  So like accepted into the family immediately.

  36:52

  Yeah, it was almost like it didn't feel like you've never met these people.

  Exactly.

  36:56

  It felt like we're like, we're family, you know, It was very interesting, like connecting with like

  the older relatives, like the great aunts and the great uncles, learning more about Chinese history

  37:06

  and like in the day, what things are like.

  But then also connected with the younger relatives.

  37:10

  Like modern day China is like both sides.

  Yeah, we got both sides.

  37:13

  So it was very nice.

  And it was nice because, like, they knew us as well as in, like, they know all about our family.

  37:18

  Like, they'll show us pictures like, oh, yeah.

  Like your uncle sent me this picture of you guys, you know, like, oh, I heard, how's this cousin?

  37:25

  How's that cousin?

  And they're like other people.

  37:27

  They know so much about us, but we don't know that much about them.

  Yeah.

  37:29

  Yeah.

  So it's like very cool.

  37:31

  Sounds like they were.

  So the hospitality was just.

  37:34

  Oh my God, It was like literally top notch.

  Yeah, kind of on that.

  37:37

  Like what were some differences that you saw between your life in Australia and what you experienced

  overseas?

  37:43

  Definitely lifestyle, like every time I go back to Vietnam, I don't expect it to be like a glamorous

  trip.

  37:48

  Like obviously the way that they live is really different to how we live.

  I would say like my, because my auntie's house, which, or my uncle's house where we normally stay,

  37:59

  which is my mom's, like the house that my mom grew up in, it was really old back in the day and we

  never used to stay there.

  38:05

  And it over the last, I think it got rebuilt like 10, maybe 20 or 15 years ago.

  And we stayed there in 2019.

  38:15

  And this time around we didn't stay there, but it's where we hang out.

  And I feel like it's so much more like advanced than what it used to be.

  38:22

  It used to be like, you know, wooden shaft basically almost and like, you know, yeah, a hole in the

  ground and there was just one floor or two floors.

  38:31

  And then all my cousins, I have 4 cousins and their parents just slept one floor.

  Yes, yeah.

  38:36

  Which was crazy because like for us, you know, like in a house where like everyone gets their own

  room, but in Vietnam that doesn't.

  38:41

  No, yeah.

  So I think it was just like the lifestyle is always really different.

  38:46

  So I always go back with that expectation.

  But I think this time around, the thing that I realised was just like lifestyle overall, everyone's

  38:53

  very comfortable.

  The people that you saw as kids living in that house are still there.

  38:59

  So everyone just stays in there same house, they grow old in it, they're very sedentary.

  And I think it's like it's so normal to never move away from that area, which for us is very weird

  39:11

  because we move suburbs, we rent out, we like, you know, go to the city for work.

  And I feel like that's like not how they live at all.

  39:19

  I guess I.

  Have more privilege of having the money.

  39:21

  To do all that exactly right.

  So everything for them is like all about like, I guess like staying comfortable and also like just

  39:30

  you, you can't change too much about your life just because like you just don't have that kind of

  access over there.

  39:34

  And also like, I guess quality of life, like everything's really old school still like you still pay

  in cash at a lot of places.

  39:42

  Like everything is very like low key.

  There's no like fancy restaurants.

  39:47

  But I did notice like obviously in the city, it's still very like touristy.

  And so they've upgraded a lot of hotels and stuff like that.

  39:54

  Whereas when you go out into the neighbourhoods and the outer districts, it's very much still like

  old school.

  39:59

  Yeah.

  But I think the one thing that's changed is convenience of like shopping.

  40:06

  They have like a new app that's kind of like T MU.

  I would say it's called Shoppy.

  40:10

  And that was something new that I just discovered this time around.

  Like you just order stuff.

  40:15

  It's like Amazon.

  Yeah.

  40:16

  And just comes like the next.

  Day.

  40:17

  Yeah.

  It's like Taobao in China.

  40:18

  Yeah.

  So it was like pretty amazing to see just like how convenient it does it come by a bike.

  40:24

  It comes by a motorbike.

  Yeah, cool.

  40:25

  OK.

  And I feel like everything in Venom just comes to you.

  40:29

  Yeah.

  You don't go out.

  40:30

  And especially during that time we were there in May, it's so hot you don't want to go out.

  So everything was just like available to you.

  40:36

  You can just order and grab, or you can order and shoppy and it just like shows up the next day.

  So good.

  40:40

  Whereas when we were younger, we'd have to go out to markets and look for this.

  Yeah, Yeah.

  40:44

  So now it's just like readily available.

  And I felt like we could pay for stuff ourself a little bit more because on Grab we had like,

  40:51

  alcohol connected and stuff.

  So that was like probably the major change.

  40:55

  It's almost like they're kind of like moving forward in the digital era, but they're still behind in

  some other ways as well.

  41:02

  Yeah, so interesting cuz I feel like China is so wack.

  Not wack, but it's so different.

  41:08

  I can't.

  It was like I could have imagined what China was like until I was there and like it really surprised

  41:14

  me in different ways.

  It's like a blend of traditional and very, very advanced at the same time.

  41:21

  Like traditional wise mean, like you see all these old buildings and these old palaces, They still

  do squat toilets, which for us is like feels dirty and stuff like that.

  41:30

  But it's just the way they know.

  It's actually interesting because they've got some public squat toilets where they've got no doors.

  41:36

  Oh, you go in and you're just squatting in the open?

  That's crazy.

  41:42

  I never did it, but my cousin and my sister did it because they were desperate.

  Wait, there's no cubicles or there?

  41:48

  I think there's, I think there's a war behind.

  It's not a cubicle, but none of them have doors.

  41:53

  So you walk in, yes, you see people squatting, doing their business just casually.

  It's so crazy.

  41:59

  And then also like the Scott toilet situation, right?

  Like sometimes they would have one Western toilet.

  42:06

  I guess it's like the accessibility toilet, right?

  That you can sit on and nobody would go to it because it's thus they're not used to it.

  42:13

  Like there'll be lines for the squat toilet and no lines for the western toilet.

  Would you be judged if you go to the Western as well?

  42:19

  Sometimes I feel like I was judged, like I'll come out of it and I think they just looking at me

  like why you should go to the toilet they'll.

  42:24

  Never see you again.

  Yeah, I know.

  42:25

  It's not like it's just, it's kind of nice not lying up for the toilet.

  What about in like the accommodation and stuff?

  42:30

  Oh.

  Accommodation's fine, like in hotels and shopping centres you get like clean modern toilets, OK, but

  42:35

  like in the traditional palaces and a lot of places like public toilets, it's all squat even in like

  really nice young Thai restaurants or squat Heidi Lau squat except like one or two seated.

  42:47

  Like clean.

  Or some just filthy like water.

  42:50

  The crown is just, I saw, I saw a lady like open the door and it's like all wet and she literally

  just rolls up her pants and then steps into it.

  43:00

  And I stood there just staring at all my options.

  I don't think I can pee here.

  43:05

  I was in the corner for like 5 minutes just contemplating how am I going to approach this?

  And I just left.

  43:09

  I was just like, I'm just going to hold it in because I can't do it.

  But like, you have that kind of that side of that side of things, but then you have the really,

  43:16

  really advanced side of things where they do not take cash anywhere.

  Even back in my hometown, which is very rural, It's that rural Vietnam, yeah, where they do

  43:24

  motorbikes.

  Everything's underdeveloped, but everything's WeChat still QR code digital.

  43:29

  This is what I mean by like.

  Things are advanced, but also things are also backwards.

  43:35

  It's so crazy like they don't take cash at all and very impressive though they all drive electric

  vehicles in China there was like no non electric vehicles from what I saw.

  43:45

  Just like super advanced.

  Like you said, they've got Taobao which come like instantly and they do drone.

  43:50

  Deliveries.

  Yes, I've heard.

  43:51

  I just saw a video.

  I was like, is this real?

  43:54

  This is no.

  Way it's real.

  43:56

  Did you have experience No, we did it, but apparently at the great world China, they were

  experimenting drone deliveries of food and stuff like that.

  44:02

  It's so insane and then like when you drive in like the big cities like in Shenzhen, it's a big

  city.

  44:07

  I think it's like the tech capital of the world.

  The city is so big.

  44:11

  Like I was like on the way from the airport to our the accommodation.

  I was like in awe, like you're driving down the road and like these buildings are so big.

  44:21

  Wow.

  Like so many floors.

  44:24

  Like our levels only go up to like 40 floors.

  It's like 100 floors and like gigantic buildings and like so densely populated like in like neon

  44:32

  lights and like it just doesn't look real.

  Like it just looks so like techno world.

  44:38

  But it's like cyberpunk life, yes.

  It's like that.

  44:41

  Like I'm driving through and I was like, what the hell?

  It's like what you?

  44:44

  See, and you know those movies that claim to be about the future and in yes, everything's like.

  Literally, that's what it looks like.

  44:52

  Yeah.

  In Beijing it's a bit more traditional, but like in Shenzhen.

  44:54

  Oh my God.

  Anyways, it's just like so crazy.

  44:57

  So it's such an experience.

  China is really, really cool.

  45:00

  Yeah, yeah.

  And then another like kind of different thing differences is that it's really nice to see the

  45:05

  elderly so self sufficient in China because I guess like I'm so used to like our elderly having to

  be look after and chaperoned everywhere because I don't speak English.

  45:16

  But over there obviously they speak Chinese.

  So like they're able to like ride motorbikes, do their own shopping, go on trips by themselves, like

  45:24

  72 year old people just be able to like just thrive by themselves independently.

  And I'm like, oh wow, it's kind of cool because like, it makes me feel a bit sad for my grandparents

  45:31

  not being able to like freely live in Australia.

  But yeah, anyways, it's crazy, guys.

  45:38

  I would so recommend China as a destination.

  You're convincing me.

  45:40

  Yeah, I'm convincing myself to go back.

  I wanna go.

  45:43

  Now, yeah, it's like.

  Fun.

  45:45

  I think it's like, because it hasn't been overly sold on social media.

  Yeah, you just don't know what.

  45:52

  To also now Australians have visa a month visa free in China, so I think tourism's gonna go over

  there, yeah, because before it was really hard to get a visa to get over there.

  46:01

  I had no idea.

  I just never considered China neither.

  46:03

  Yeah.

  I was just basically forced onto this trip and I loved it.

  46:07

  OK, well, you've changed my mind.

  There you go.

  46:09

  Anyway, So what cultural traditions or customs surprise you the most when you visited?

  Well, this time around we had like a full Vietnamese Chinese wedding and I don't, I've never

  46:21

  experienced a tea ceremony.

  Surprisingly in Australia.

  46:26

  I've never also experienced like a full on Vietnam wedding.

  I've heard stories about how like, you know, crazy they are.

  46:32

  But my cousin's wedding, there were so many, like, traditions even just in the week that we, so we

  arrived like a week before the wedding and I just thought, you know, we're gonna chill.

  46:41

  Yeah, we're gonna chill until the wedding day or maybe even just the day before the wedding day.

  And we'll, we'll just, we're fine.

  46:48

  But there was all these, like, different traditions and like, none of us knew about it because my

  cousin is, he was pretty much doing everything solo because his parents aren't really around and he

  46:58

  had no idea as well.

  He's like one of the first to get married around our age and he had no idea what to expect.

  47:03

  It was mostly like his in laws guiding the whole way.

  Like you could do this, this and this.

  47:09

  On this day, you're going to pray for this.

  These people need to be here.

  47:12

  And like, my entire family will just like, just tell us what we need to.

  Be.

  47:16

  And we'll be there.

  But it was like crazy just seeing everything unfold and understanding the meaning behind certain

  47:23

  things.

  So it's like I didn't fully get to kind of deep dive deep into it, but it's like why you need to do

  47:30

  offerings like, say a couple days before who gets to come?

  Like the bride can't come.

  47:35

  There's all these like rules about the bride coming to the his house because that's the house

  they're gonna live in, right?

  47:41

  So they're gonna do like, you know, bring in.

  Do they still do that?

  47:44

  And, you know, like the bride goes back to the husband's like, house, family house, you know, and

  live with like mom and dad and like what?

  47:53

  Yeah, well, like the house that my cousin lives in, it's, he pretty much lives in it alone, right.

  Yeah, so because his mom is passed on, his dad doesn't live in that area.

  48:02

  And yeah, so it's just his house now.

  But yeah, they basically it's their home now.

  48:08

  So in the home, like they had to, the bride's family was gifting all this stuff for the house.

  It was essentially like a house warming.

  48:15

  And they had all this like stuff, like new bedding and stuff.

  And you had to, like, decorate the house in a specific way with, like, you know, the word, the

  48:22

  Chinese character happiness.

  So it was like what you expect in Australia times 10.

  48:28

  And then you have a lot of traditions where, like, you got to pray for a specific thing.

  And then you also have to, like, hire someone to come and do, like, the coordination of the prayers

  48:38

  and everything like that.

  Yeah.

  48:40

  That's as far as I understood.

  But it was just, like, most of the time, I had no idea what was going on, but I was just like, I'm

  48:45

  just here.

  Yeah.

  48:46

  But it was just like.

  There's a lot it makes you wonder, like, when we do or who's going to tell us what to do.

  48:51

  Like, don't just do anything wrong, yeah?

  My mom, my mom was like, I was like to my mom, I was like, do you have any idea what's going on?

  48:56

  Do you know like what we have to do and stuff?

  And my mom was like Nope.

  49:00

  Yes, he took your parents to know, but they're like, no, I don't.

  Want to.

  49:03

  Yeah.

  So I think at that point I realised like, oh, even my parents have kind of assimilated to like, the

  49:08

  more Westernised way of living.

  Yeah.

  49:11

  And so we actually had to rely on one of my older cousins who's now married as well.

  She got married ages ago to help guide the entire family.

  49:18

  Yeah, on this as well, because, yeah, nobody knew what was going on.

  And then when it got to the wedding day itself, like it's so grand.

  49:26

  Like, obviously I think there's different degrees of weddings.

  People can have like a really cheap wedding.

  49:31

  But a grand wedding in Vietnam is like, we went into the black, the ballroom.

  It was at a hotel.

  49:36

  And essentially there, there was a stage and there's like a walkway.

  And basically, my cousin had to walk on the stage to collect his bride.

  49:47

  She was, like at the end.

  And then they went back on stage and it was almost like they were walking down the aisle.

  49:52

  And the entire thing was, like, full and styled.

  So there was, like, so many flowers everywhere.

  49:58

  Think of like a corporate event.

  It was kind of like.

  50:00

  And there was also in the middle of the stage, hung up from the ceiling.

  It was like their initials.

  50:06

  It was always like branding from, like, Q&T.

  Yeah, this whole branding, having a guest.

  50:11

  With.

  Or like 200 and 300.

  50:14

  Her side of the time is really big.

  And they also invited obviously people from the neighbourhood and everything like that.

  50:19

  But I was just like, damn, this is this is next.

  Level, it's one day.

  50:22

  It's one day, yeah, but obviously the leader, you have the stuff at home and then you have the stuff

  at the hotel, the reception.

  50:28

  Yeah.

  So it's just crazy.

  50:30

  I did shows and stuff.

  Well, there's there's people singing Terra Mckini.

  50:34

  There's also like singers and a band.

  Do they do?

  50:38

  Speeches.

  No, it's not a Western thing.

  50:40

  Yeah.

  They don't do speeches, Yeah, but that was like, pretty much it.

  50:44

  They don't do like.

  First dance or anything, right?

  50:46

  So what what happens?

  It's like there's a.

  50:48

  Party go around to each table and be.

  Like, Oh yeah.

  50:50

  And then drink dreams.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

  50:53

  And then that's it.

  Wow.

  50:54

  Yeah, The only things that are similar I guess is like there's table seating and then there's like

  wedding favours and walking up and down the aisle, but there's no like ceremony.

  51:05

  You know, oh, because the tea ceremony is the.

  Ceremony, yeah, but then that's it.

  51:10

  Yeah, so fun.

  I'd love to go to an Asian an Asian Asian.

  51:12

  Wedding Yeah yeah.

  Oh also I forgot to mention outside the actual ballroom there was like pillars with their face

  51:21

  plastered onto the pillars.

  So I think my cousin obviously their wedding was a little bit more I guess like high end or extra.

  51:30

  They had like a pre wedding shirt and all their photos just plastered on these pillars.

  And then there was also like, you know, when you go to an event and then before you get into an

  51:40

  event, they might have like photo walls and then they'll have like, you know, lights or something.

  There was two photo walls and it's fully like decked out in the same branding as inside.

  51:50

  And they made it look very like forest like and it.

  Like, wow.

  51:54

  Dreamy.

  Does the groom has to have to pay for all?

  51:57

  This.

  I'm actually not sure.

  51:58

  Yeah, Yeah, I have no idea.

  OK.

  52:01

  That was crazy.

  It was like a full on, like almost like an event awards, not kind of vibe.

  52:06

  Yeah, so that was like insane.

  So I don't know if that's normal.

  52:11

  Someone let us know if that's normal or not.

  That must be the next generation of like weddings.

  52:15

  Yeah, yeah.

  Very grand, very fun.

  52:17

  Yeah.

  I think for me, like the, I guess cultural thing that surprised me the most.

  52:21

  It's like we talked about it, but like the insane hospitality.

  Like you think Asians are very like, you know have highest hospitality.

  52:28

  But like going to China and being with my Chinese family, there is another level.

  It was almost competitive hospitality like we would never allow to lift a finger.

  52:36

  Like, you know, when you finish eating dinner the first night we had dinner at my great aunts place,

  I see that everyone's done eating.

  52:43

  So the normal things to do is stand up and collect everyone's bottles to bring it to the to bring it

  to the table.

  52:49

  And she was in a conversation with my mum and dad.

  So she didn't realise I was doing this.

  52:53

  And then I went to get her bowl and she saw my hand and she looked up at me and to check if I was

  her daughter or I was like who it was.

  53:00

  And she saw that it was me.

  She grabbed the chopsticks out of my hand and she sit back down.

  53:05

  I was like, well, actually did.

  She wrestled all the bowls and chopsticks out of my hand.

  53:08

  She's like, do not do that.

  And then she told her daughter to come and do the packing.

  53:12

  We weren't even allowed to step into the kitchen.

  Yeah, like I'll just, I'll be going in there to like put something into the bin.

  53:17

  And they were like, get out of there like this.

  They're like, do not wash the dishes.

  53:20

  I was like, no, I'm trying to wash the dishes or something.

  They meanwhile.

  53:23

  Yeah.

  And like we would me and my cousins and my sisters would sneak try to sneak turns washing dishes and

  53:29

  they would almost like one of the nights was like it's almost a competition who can wash the most

  dishes without getting caught.

  53:34

  And like one of my cousins washed like 2 dishes successfully before they caught them and put and

  dragged them out of the kitchen did.

  53:39

  You feel like that.

  Those are the things that say in Australia, if you go to someone else's house, we have dinner there.

  0:00

  Those are the things that reflect on your parents.

  53:47

  Yes, exactly.

  Yeah, It feels like it's almost like I need to do this.

  53:51

  I I'm expected to do this, but I just would not let us do it.

  Like the women has cleaned their stuff.

  53:56

  I just wipe the table a little bit with my tissue, and they're, like, put that down.

  Yeah.

  54:02

  OK.

  So the hospitality is, like, crazy.

  54:05

  Yeah.

  And, like, not letting us pay for anything.

  54:08

  Like, you know when you say agents fighting for the bill, I never experienced it to this level

  before, like.

  54:13

  Very wrestling, man.

  Literally wrestling, like obviously we feel so bad because like, they will take the time out of

  54:18

  their days to take us around for this week and they would pay for everything.

  And then we would have a large dinner since majority like us, you know, and like me being the eldest

  54:27

  and my cousin Jenny being the eldest, we would try to like get the bill and then but the other

  cousin like out, I guess the cousins from the outside, they would.

  54:35

  I think they clocked that we were trying to do that.

  The only success story had was we had like dinner, We're singing a round table and like one of the

  54:41

  seats were like sofa seats.

  Yeah, my, my dad's cousin, which is like one hour.

  54:46

  She's like 30 something.

  So I was saying, like, our cousin, right.

  54:49

  He told his wife to go get the bill.

  I was looking around and I, he sat next to me to block me off from from getting out on the booth.

  54:56

  Oh, my God.

  And then I was just like scanning in the table to see which of my relatives were available to go

  55:01

  chase for the bill.

  And then my sister Lillian was on one end and she was like, right at the edge.

  55:06

  And I was like, Lillian, you need to go run and pay that bill right now.

  Yeah.

  55:09

  And Lillian's like, no, I can't do.

  It exciting.

  55:13

  Yeah.

  And I was like, take my phone and scanned that QR code because the QR WeChat.

  55:18

  And then she like ran in front of the my cousin's wife and like, scanned the QR code before she

  could.

  55:24

  And I was so surprised.

  Yeah.

  55:26

  And then she, you know, my pinch.

  I need your PIN.

  55:28

  I need your PIN.

  I need your PIN across the restaurant.

  55:32

  That's only acceptable in China, yeah.

  Literally.

  55:34

  And then we successfully paid and they were like, wow, you guys.

  And then ever since that, they were very like, aware of our tactics.

  55:42

  That's so funny, 'cause like, I feel like, say, for example, I was in Hong Kong and my family friend

  was taking us around.

  55:47

  Yeah.

  And she's, she's younger than me.

  55:48

  So I feel like I need to pay yes, for things.

  And I feel bad if I don't.

  55:52

  Yeah, but as a visitor, like obviously us being like a different generation, I feel like because

  she's taking time out of her day.

  56:00

  Yeah, I need to pay exactly Yeah, like the paying for the meals at least Yeah, literally I was like,

  you're literally like driving us around everything like just let us pay and this would not let and

  56:08

  they would just make up life like 11 lunch we had.

  I was really about to order on the WeChat and he was like what he was getting and like, let me put

  56:15

  it into out my my account and I was like, no, like I'm about to order it.

  I'll pay for it.

  56:19

  He's like, no, I'm a VIP at this restaurant.

  I get coupons and I was like, you're lying to me.

  56:23

  And then he he showed me like, look, VIP, like I got a coupon and I was like, OK, and he ordered it

  from I think he would not take my money back after that.

  56:30

  Yeah.

  So just like stuff like that, like just so insane.

  56:33

  And then like another kind of hospitality thing that's unique to digital maybe is like the tea

  culture.

  56:40

  They were saying that digital people do tea really big.

  Like I think tea culture and digital is like huge like that area and like every digital family, like

  56:49

  all my relatives houses that we went to, they had a big tea table.

  Oh wow.

  56:52

  I don't know if you've seen it, but it's like a table that has a philtre into a bucket.

  Yes, yes it is.

  56:56

  And then they pour, they wash the tea cups.

  They have like the ways of pouring tea for everyone.

  57:02

  And like you'll just sit at their houses and like one person will be the tea pourer and they'll pour

  tea for people like for hours, like continuously, like you'll finish a cup and you get to refill it

  57:13

  instantly.

  Like, so it's like a culture there where they sit, catch up over tea no matter what time of day it

  57:19

  is.

  Wow, Like morning, night, afternoon.

  57:21

  And they'll do it for hours.

  I guess it's kind of like how we just go for coffee.

  57:24

  Exactly.

  And they don't have coffee over there.

  57:26

  They tea is very big.

  Yeah.

  57:28

  Like, they don't drink coffee at all.

  So that was really cool to understand the tea culture.

  57:32

  And they were just saying that, like, even after dinner, I was like, all right, who's who's gonna

  have tea?

  57:35

  And then we're just like, we're not gonna be able to sleep if we have the tea.

  And they're like, we can't sleep if we don't have the tea.

  57:42

  Wow.

  Yeah.

  57:43

  And then my uncle, my great uncles explaining to us, like in China, in digital, like, if the man

  doesn't know how to pour tea properly, he's never gonna find a wife.

  57:54

  When you meet people, they watch how you do the tea ceremony.

  Yeah.

  57:58

  And if you can't do it, they're like, you're out of the market.

  You kind of pressure.

  58:02

  Yeah.

  So it's teaching us the right way to pour tea and how to hold it without burning yourself.

  58:06

  And very cool.

  How interesting.

  58:08

  Yeah.

  I did a tea experience.

  58:10

  This is a tender.

  I did a tea experience in Hong Kong.

  58:12

  Yeah.

  And I feel like I learned a bit of that.

  58:13

  Yeah.

  Yeah.

  58:14

  The different cop styles.

  And yes, yeah.

  58:16

  And then doing it for the amount of times it's not too bitter.

  Yeah.

  58:19

  And it was like, to the extent that like we left out, sometimes we would be chatting, we would leave

  our tea for way too long.

  58:24

  They would like automatically take the tea for pour and repour new tea.

  So it's like hot.

  58:29

  Yeah.

  And we're like, don't waste the tea.

  58:30

  And they're like, no, no, no, you can't drink cold tea.

  Like it's a they're very attentive and they constantly have to refill your tea cups as you're

  58:36

  talking.

  Is there like a hierarchy of like who does that the tea pour?

  58:39

  I think just whoever's house.

  Yeah, it is.

  58:41

  Yeah.

  That's crazy.

  58:43

  It's really crazy.

  But I was like to my dad, how do I signal to them that I don't want any more tea because like every

  58:47

  time I put it down, they'll pour the new tea?

  And if you don't?

  58:51

  Yeah, if you don't drink, you.

  Don't drink it.

  58:52

  They'll read.

  Read like, read through the tea.

  58:54

  Flip your cup in.

  Hot.

  58:55

  I don't.

  Know I didn't work that part out.

  58:57

  Just tell them you don't want any more tea.

  I was like, OK, yeah, yeah.

  59:01

  But that's it's really interesting.

  Yeah, wow.

  59:04

  What are some things that you had to adapt to that you didn't expect?

  Language is probably the biggest thing.

  59:11

  Like what I didn't really expect is like how different the digital is because like the this, the

  digital that my Chinese family speak has a really strong accent.

  59:23

  I don't know if it's a mainland accent, not a Chinese accent.

  Like I would say my great aunt when she spoke like really fast, I probably understand like 40%.

  59:32

  Yeah, even though we're like technically speaking the same language, but it's like very different

  accents.

  59:37

  So I really had to like, adapt to that.

  And we realised that the digital that my family speaks is one that my grandpa passed on to us when

  59:46

  he was like, when he like he migrated from China to Vietnam at 20.

  And that was a digital he was taught.

  59:52

  So it's very old.

  So it's very old school.

  59:54

  So then like our cousins will say, oh, you're digital.

  The words you're using very old school.

  59:58

  Very.

  Old.

  1:00:01

  Very old school, very ancient.

  Yeah.

  1:00:02

  What?

  Oh, really?

  1:00:03

  So it's like, I think it's almost like we're speaking Shakespearean English or something like that.

  Yeah.

  1:00:07

  Whereas they have like their in their, I think their digital now is more influenced by like

  Mandarin, Yeah.

  1:00:13

  Or even Cantonese like the toilet, like we would call it Gongsy Bear, but like they would call it a

  chesaw, which is similar to cheese ches.

  1:00:22

  How do you say in Cantonese Chesaw?

  Oh, sea sauce.

  1:00:25

  Yeah, yeah.

  So very similar, yeah, yeah, I.

  1:00:27

  Didn't even clock that.

  Yeah, Yeah.

  1:00:29

  OK.

  So I think it's like more maybe more influenced by mainland such Canto.

  1:00:33

  Maybe I don't even know what it is in Mandarin.

  I have no.

  1:00:36

  Idea.

  Or maybe that is Mandarin.

  1:00:38

  I don't even know.

  Probably Mandarin.

  1:00:40

  Yeah, maybe.

  Maybe they've adopted Mandarin phrases for something because Mandarin and the Cantonese.

  1:00:44

  Are similar in a lot of ways.

  Yeah.

  1:00:45

  And I think I really, like, rushed up all my skills, like pretty like covenant.

  Yeah.

  1:00:53

  I was just like, Oh my God.

  I feel more confident in speaking in digital to like, my elders.

  1:00:57

  Yeah.

  And even when I came back to Australia, like, we had a full conversation with my grammar, I showed

  1:01:01

  her like, my China trip.

  Like, you feel so empowered.

  1:01:04

  Yeah, I feel so empowered to speak the language.

  Whereas normally I would like, shy away, shy away and just have like, very brief conversations with

  1:01:11

  my elders.

  But being so immersed in the digital culture and like speaking it more, I feel like I want to try

  1:01:19

  more.

  Yeah.

  1:01:20

  To speak it to my family, yeah.

  So it's actually fun, Yeah.

  1:01:24

  Language group camp, Yeah.

  That's a good way to put it.

  1:01:27

  Yeah.

  What about you?

  1:01:29

  Not nearly as as amazing as that.

  I think it was probably just like being able to be self sufficient with Grab.

  1:01:37

  Yeah.

  Like I think when we were younger it would, he was always like, oh, what do you want to eat?

  1:01:42

  I'll order it for you.

  Or like, what do you want to go?

  1:01:45

  I'll take you.

  So now it was more so like, oh, I can just order grab and go wherever we needed to.

  1:01:50

  And because we had so many people there, there was not enough people to drive us on motorbikes.

  So we could just order grabs, which is so, so much better because then we're like in air

  1:01:58

  conditioning as well.

  And it was really hot.

  1:02:01

  But also like being a tourist without my parents.

  So I stayed in the main city for like a week and yeah, we just got to like see different shops and

  1:02:11

  go to different cafes, travel like I normally do.

  So I almost go like both sides of the like Vietnam experience this time around.

  1:02:18

  And I could see Vietnam in a different light because I think even with like TikTok and everything

  now, people travel Vietnam very differently.

  1:02:27

  I think back in the day, you would, you know, go to like, Germantown, which is like the markets, or

  you would just eat straight food.

  1:02:34

  But now I feel like they're very influenced by Korean culture.

  So there's a lot of like, you know, like cafes.

  1:02:40

  Yes, there's a lot of like.

  Clothes that look like Korean clothing, There's more like boutique stores.

  1:02:45

  The things that I normally enjoy, like I would never expected to experience that in.

  Yeah, you know, it seems more cool.

  1:02:51

  Now it definitely is like I bought like jewellery, clothes, bags, shoes like it was crazy.

  I just, I've never done that in Vietnam because when I was younger it was more so about like going

  1:03:03

  back there and buying cheap stuff that you, you know, you could probably get in Australia, but you

  can buy in bulk in Vietnam.

  1:03:08

  So this time around it's more about buying like good quality stuff.

  And I got to visit some like art stores as well, which is really cool, like seeing what local

  1:03:16

  Vietnamese artists are making and that really tickles my fancy.

  So being able to do that with my sister was really cool.

  1:03:22

  Too.

  Yeah.

  1:03:23

  That's so interesting.

  What is a memorable story or experience from your trip back to your home country?

  1:03:30

  I think this is again surrounded about around the wedding.

  So my cousin there was like one day, I think the day before the wedding, he has to pray.

  1:03:40

  And when we pray, there's like roast pork involved.

  There's like all this like food pretty much you're you're putting it out as an offering to your

  1:03:48

  ancestors and you're asking for like good luck in this marriage and everything like that.

  And we did that the day before.

  1:03:55

  And what you're meant to do is you're meant to cut up and divide all the food and the fruits.

  You're meant to package it up and you're meant to go around to like all your aunties and uncles

  1:04:04

  houses and give it to them.

  And what happened was he had something planned for like the afternoon or something.

  1:04:12

  So he was just like, just leave the food here, I'll come back later and I'll package it up and we

  can go around tomorrow.

  1:04:18

  And he like, locked up his house and everything and he didn't have keys.

  And then it turns out he had like, his box essentially OK that night.

  1:04:26

  And he drank way too much, way too early.

  Don't know how he got home the next day.

  1:04:30

  He had promised us that he we can come up and get the food and go deliver it.

  We get there the next morning.

  1:04:36

  We're like banging the door, calling him.

  Nobody's picking up, nobody has spare keys.

  1:04:41

  He can't hear us and like the house is so secure that you can't get in because he's like when he

  renovated the house, he got like a roller shutter, right?

  1:04:49

  Whereas normally he's been on this like just like shutter and there's like a gap.

  His house was so secure.

  1:04:54

  Nobody could get in and nobody had keys.

  And he's like fiance at the time even she didn't have keys.

  1:05:00

  So we had to just wait and see when he would wake up.

  Oh, my God.

  1:05:04

  And then all the adults were just like, this is not good.

  He's gonna look bad.

  1:05:08

  He has to give food.

  Oh, my God, The food must be off now.

  1:05:11

  And like, you know, so stressful.

  Yeah.

  1:05:13

  Everyone was just so stressed.

  And then like, we're all trying different things.

  1:05:16

  And even my his neighbour, which is like a long term family friend of ours, he was like, I can go up

  to the balcony and climb over.

  1:05:23

  And wake him up.

  He didn't need to get to that point.

  1:05:26

  Yeah, and it turns out that even though he was super, super drunk, he had the wits to turn on the

  air con to make sure the food didn't.

  1:05:33

  Go off.

  Oh, that's so funny.

  1:05:35

  So we managed to get all the.

  Food and divide it.

  1:05:37

  But it was just like everyone was just so stressed because I think it was more like, they don't want

  to look bad.

  1:05:42

  Yeah.

  You know, to the other family.

  1:05:44

  Yes.

  Yeah.

  1:05:44

  But this is what I mean by like he has no adults around to tell him what to do.

  I'm gonna say if it was us, we will get told off, yeah.

  1:05:51

  But he was my, my cousin's a little bit clueless.

  So he's just like, ha, ha, so funny.

  1:05:55

  Oh my God.

  Like, oops, my bad.

  1:05:57

  I'm in so much trouble.

  Yeah, no, everyone was so stressed and everyone was just trying to find a different solution.

  1:06:03

  But yeah, it all turned out fine.

  And yeah.

  1:06:04

  That's so funny.

  That is very memorable.

  1:06:06

  Yeah, how about you?

  My first home cooked meal and my great art space was so wholesome and it was like after a week of

  1:06:12

  being in Beijing realised we haven't even had rice for a long time.

  We just eating noodles and stuff like that, like peeking duck and stuff.

  1:06:19

  And then they picked us up for the first night.

  We went out on Shenzhen and they just drove us straight to my grand aunt's place and all the family

  1:06:24

  was there and it was just like a big Chinese dinner with all this home cooked meal and then we're

  just eating rice.

  1:06:31

  And it was so emotional and he was so tired on the day as well.

  And someone else would take care of it.

  1:06:35

  Yeah.

  You don't need to decide what to eat.

  1:06:37

  Yeah, and I was.

  Like the rice is so good, the food is so good.

  1:06:40

  It's like so family vibes and it's like her house is like a replica of my grandma's house back in

  Australia.

  1:06:45

  Oh, really?

  Like it's not like a replica, but it just feels the same.

  1:06:47

  It's like being at your grandma's house.

  Yeah, we're all very touched by being fed the food and everything like that.

  1:06:53

  So I think that was a very memorable moment.

  It's so like, is it typical or like, so expected of like what our entire culture is built on?

  1:07:03

  Yeah.

  Just like being surrounded about food and like how eating together and sharing a meal is so.

  1:07:10

  Important.

  Yeah.

  1:07:10

  Literally.

  Yeah.

  1:07:11

  This is like a very memorable family dinner.

  Yeah.

  1:07:14

  Yeah.

  And I think it's something that I will always remember, like a core memory of just, like, getting

  1:07:17

  fed all these yummy food and eating rice for the first time a long time and being surrounded with

  family.

  1:07:23

  Yeah.

  So I would say that is probably the biggest one.

  1:07:26

  And the last one actually is like.

  So growing up, like, my grandpa always taught us, like, as kids, he always tested us.

  1:07:32

  He's like, where are you from?

  And we had to say this phrase, which is like, we're from like, Somuncia, which is a place.

  1:07:38

  But like, as a child, you have no idea.

  I've got no idea what that phrase means, right.

  1:07:41

  Brainwashing, like you should brainwashing like all of us were like, don't forget where you're from.

  And then you say Somuncia.

  1:07:48

  Somuncia.

  I have no idea what the hell that means.

  1:07:50

  Like, it's a place in China, right?

  Yeah.

  1:07:51

  And they always talk to hometown.

  They took us to Somuncia.

  1:07:54

  And they're like, this is Somung Sia.

  It's just like a full circle mode.

  1:07:58

  Yeah, you've got 2.

  Interesting.

  1:07:59

  Yeah, this is where I am.

  And then actually when I came back to Australia, my older auntie was telling me that even when she

  1:08:05

  was growing up, so her dad was my grandpa.

  He also tested them.

  1:08:09

  Yeah.

  She said back then you don't have Internet if you don't have maps if you get lost.

  1:08:15

  He he was worried that if he wasn't around to take them back to China, they wanted he wanted them to

  be able to tell people, this is where I want to go.

  1:08:22

  Yeah.

  And it would take them back to the hometown.

  1:08:25

  Yeah.

  Yeah.

  1:08:25

  So it's like, really like, memorable because I was like, wow, this is such a spot.

  It's the exact spot that Grandpa was teaching us all about.

  1:08:31

  Yeah, there's so much significance.

  Yeah, it's like your grandpa's memories.

  1:08:35

  Like this exactly.

  Yeah.

  1:08:36

  So that was really nice, yeah.

  So nice.

  1:08:39

  Yeah.

  What are your favourite dishes or festive celebrations so you look forward to when visiting?

  1:08:46

  I guess it's my first time so hard to say but like all the home booked meals highlight like so good

  and like it was so cool because I was so so so many dishes I hadn't seen it so long.

  1:08:54

  Yeah.

  My next question was going to be like, what?

  1:08:56

  What did you eat?

  Digital food, I don't know it's.

  1:08:58

  Just what is digital?

  Food though, it's like tofu and a lot of grains, preserved veggies, rice, soups, lots of soups like

  1:09:06

  my grandpa used to eat.

  Like do you only have her?

  1:09:08

  But it's like black olive in the jars.

  Oh, is it really salty?

  1:09:13

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

  And you eat with kanji.

  1:09:15

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  I think we call it okana or whatever.

  1:09:18

  And my grandpa, you see that all the time.

  And like when I was back in the hometown and they cooked up dinner for us, I was like.

  1:09:24

  Wow.

  I don't know.

  1:09:25

  I just saw it and I thought, Oh my God, what did I go about?

  I was like, I haven't seen that in so long.

  1:09:29

  No, no places are serving that.

  Yeah, no, it's not eating.

  1:09:32

  It's at home.

  Yeah.

  1:09:33

  And I was like, oh, all this stuff that my grandpa used to eat all the time.

  But since it's passed away, we don't buy anymore.

  1:09:37

  We don't eat anymore.

  So like, and things like dried persimmons for New Year's and like salted plum or whatever.

  1:09:44

  Like it's just like, or, or like digital cakes and snacks.

  I'm like, wow, I haven't seen this since I was a kid.

  1:09:48

  So that was really cool.

  How are you?

  1:09:50

  What are the foods?

  I also love Vietnamese foods.

  1:09:52

  I was so jealous of all your food stories.

  I know like food, I just look forward to the foods so much because you can get just the most amazing

  1:10:00

  food and such a generous amount for so cheap And you could you could eat anything that you want,

  like any dish that you want, you can get it, you know, because I think what happens in Vietnam is

  1:10:12

  like people have a food cart and they specialise in that one, yes.

  Or like this restaurant.

  1:10:17

  So specialise in just one Vietnamese dish.

  Whereas for us here, we go to a Vietnamese restaurant and it's just like it's got everything, you

  1:10:23

  know, You've got your furs, you've got your boomer Ware.

  And The funny thing is like you actually don't eat fur and boomer Ware that much when you're gonna

  1:10:29

  be there.

  No, I don't.

  1:10:30

  Anyway I eat all this other like random.

  Sticky rice.

  1:10:33

  Yeah, yeah, sticky rice in the plastic bag.

  Yeah, yeah, sticky rice you drink so much like just iced tea.

  1:10:39

  What?

  Fruit shakes?

  1:10:41

  Yes, fruit shakes or fruit cut up fruit and you just dip it in chilli salt.

  Like all that stuff is just so accessible, even just like, you know, Vietnamese like it's just like

  1:10:51

  1 tonne noodles, but they just like serve it with some other stuff like some other meatballs and

  stuff like that.

  1:10:56

  And yeah, just like love being able to eat.

  I think I just eat, I try and eat a different dish every day.

  1:11:03

  So I've eaten like bun gun and everything like that.

  But I love eating the exotic foods.

  1:11:08

  Oh, so exactly.

  Like, you know, like sea snails.

  1:11:11

  Yeah.

  I mean, my mom is always like, oh, don't eat it.

  1:11:13

  You're gonna get sea and stuff.

  And she'll have to like, go out and buy it specifically and bring it home and we'll eat it at home

  1:11:18

  because I think it's cleaner if they could go to home.

  So that kind of stuff.

  1:11:22

  There's something called Bobby, which is like translated to I guess like they call it Vietnamese

  spring rolls, but it's not like spring rolls like the fried ones you imagine.

  1:11:31

  It's like, I like the sweet 1 specifically, but the savoury one comes with like like Vietnamese

  sausage and it's in rice, like clear rice paper rolls.

  1:11:41

  But the Vietnamese, I'm sorry, the sweet one that I really like is it's basically like sugar syrup,

  shredded coconut and then some sort of like cracker that goes on top and then sesame seeds and you

  1:11:53

  just roll it out when you eat it.

  Yeah, Yeah.

  1:11:55

  There's just like little sweet rolls.

  And I love that because you, when we, when you spot it on the side of the road, you can see the sign

  1:12:01

  of like what that food cart is.

  So you just see that.

  1:12:04

  And it's just like every time we spot that.

  Like my mom and I love it so much.

  1:12:07

  Yeah.

  Did you have Oh?

  1:12:10

  Yeah, I did.

  I went to like, you know, the viral.

  1:12:12

  Ones, are they good?

  Like what do they taste?

  1:12:14

  The same as what you would get here.

  I don't know.

  1:12:16

  I think the ones we get here is more like about the freshness, OK.

  Whereas over there it's all about like Pate and the, you know, the mayonnaise.

  1:12:26

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

  They put on so much like it's, it's just a lot.

  1:12:30

  And for me, I think as Australians, I think we like more of like a fresh sandwich kind of vibe, you

  know.

  1:12:37

  So it's nice, but I wouldn't say that I prefer over what we get in Australia.

  Right.

  1:12:41

  OK, yeah.

  But I think it was, it was good to experience like I think if you don't eat pork rolls or anything

  1:12:47

  here in Australia, like getting over there, it's like an experience, you know, Whereas here it's

  like I feel like we have a pretty.

  1:12:53

  Good.

  Yeah, Yeah.

  1:12:54

  I mean, Vietnamese food here is so good.

  Yeah.

  1:12:56

  And also like, Vietnamese desserts, like, yeah, I feel like it's becoming more popular in Kabra now.

  But just getting like, you know, unshaved ice, like, a lot of different, like, poppings and stuff is

  1:13:07

  so good, so accessible.

  I think that's what it is, obviously.

  1:13:10

  Yeah.

  Just just go there to eat, to be honest.

  1:13:13

  I love it.

  Yeah.

  1:13:14

  Yeah.

  What advice would you have to give others who are planning to visit their home country for this

  1:13:21

  time?

  My mother's very simple.

  1:13:23

  Just go with family.

  Like, I don't know, I don't think I could have that experience by myself.

  1:13:26

  Yeah, like go with elders.

  I would say like let just let your parents take the lead or your aunts and uncles take the lead and

  1:13:32

  just be present.

  Yeah, No, I agree with that one.

  1:13:35

  I mean, it's a bit hard to kind of talk to this because I've been to Vietnam so many times.

  But I think like when I'm in Vietnam and I'm around family, I try my best to just be there, be

  1:13:46

  present and just connect with them as much, like have conversations.

  Well, so ask questions.

  1:13:50

  Yeah, ask lots of questions.

  Yeah, I think we, we always like amongst my sisters and I, we always end up asking a lot of

  1:13:56

  questions about like my mom and like my grandparents and how they grew up and stuff.

  Because like my mom and my dad don't tell me much about their like how they grew up and stuff.

  1:14:07

  And I don't really want to ask because I imagine it would be like quite painful sometimes to talk

  about.

  1:14:11

  So yeah, it's quite nice to just, like, talk about those things that no one else could reveal to

  you.

  1:14:16

  Yeah, yeah.

  And like, their relatives could tell you about their stories.

  1:14:19

  They don't answer.

  Yeah.

  1:14:20

  Even, like, things like language, when I heard phrases I didn't understand, I'm like, what does that

  mean?

  1:14:24

  Whereas normally sometimes you just kind of go like, yeah, you just kind of like, go with the flow

  and you don't question it, but like, just asking, what does that mean?

  1:14:30

  And then they teach you something's a way to learn.

  Yeah, I really love, like, comparing things that they do over there to like what we do in Australia.

  0:00

  Oh my God, there's a.

  1:14:37

  Funny story.

  Yeah.

  1:14:38

  So like the first night we had home booked dinner.

  I don't know, it was AI don't know what dish you're worth.

  1:14:43

  It was like a very simple dish that we do like we have in Australia.

  But I think my dad was just like so overwhelmed or something had it.

  1:14:49

  And he's like, and then she's like, am I great?

  I'm just oh, is it good?

  1:14:53

  She's like, he's like, yeah, we don't have it in Australia.

  And they're all my this is an I and my colleagues looking at each other like what do you mean?

  1:15:01

  He was like in trans, in digital is translated like audio about all, which is like Australia don't

  have.

  1:15:05

  And then like we're like, yes, we do.

  We have this.

  1:15:07

  I think he was maybe being polite.

  Yeah.

  1:15:10

  And then from then we're just teasing him.

  But every time it was something like pizza, you're like, Oh yeah, audio bowl like Australia don't

  1:15:16

  have.

  Yeah, that's so fun.

  1:15:19

  But yeah, I'm comparing that as well to see what we have and don't have.

  Because it gives you a point of like conversation, I guess.

  1:15:24

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  Yeah.

  1:15:26

  Is there anything else that you would want to explore within your home country that you didn't get a

  chance to?

  1:15:32

  I would love to keep doing what I was doing when I was with Chris in like the city because I feel

  like there's just still so much I haven't seen yet.

  1:15:39

  So go into the, you know, those boutique cafes or those new stores or supporting like local artists

  and stuff.

  1:15:45

  I think I would love to do that a little bit more.

  But also, yeah, seeing places beyond my parents neighbourhood, I really want to see like Central

  1:15:54

  Vietnam a little bit more because I really love Wilma where and that's where it's from.

  And then also like North Vietnam, which isn't like, I think a lot of people from the South Vietnam

  1:16:02

  are like, why would you go?

  To Yeah, why would you want to go?

  1:16:04

  There.

  But I think North Vietnam is a completely different vibe, Yeah, a lot more like, I guess, scenic.

  1:16:09

  Yeah, I think as Australians we have more open minds to that.

  I wouldn't go and just be tourists where just like our parents are like why would you like to go

  1:16:16

  there?

  Yeah, yeah.

  1:16:18

  How about you?

  I want to experience Chinese New Year in China.

  1:16:21

  Oh yeah, yeah.

  We were so close because we came back two days before Chinese New Year and already wise were there

  1:16:29

  the lead up to Chinese, you could feel the festivities, like all the shops had all these cool deals

  and like all the decorations were out.

  1:16:37

  Everyone was selling mandarins everywhere mostly.

  Mandarins are so sweet.

  1:16:41

  Yeah.

  And like we had a bit of a glimpse to it because like one night normally they throw it like, you

  1:16:47

  know, there's gunpowder rocks.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  1:16:49

  And not sparklers.

  They would apparently do that on Chinese New Year Day, but then they thought let's do it.

  1:16:53

  Watch, you guys are here.

  So we'd like had all the kids run loose with gunpowder and like, sparkling.

  1:16:59

  It's a bit dangerous, but like I was like, oh, damn, this is normal.

  Yeah, yeah.

  1:17:03

  So I got a good stuff, but I would love to come back for Chinese New Year in China.

  Yeah, that's actually true.

  1:17:08

  Yeah.

  Yeah, I felt the same when I was in Hong Kong recently, actually seeing all the like market source

  1:17:13

  lined up with all the decorations.

  So it was.

  1:17:15

  Really lovely.

  Yeah, there's persons everywhere as well.

  1:17:17

  So cool.

  Yeah, Yeah.

  1:17:19

  What's one thing you'd want to bring back from Motherland to life back home in Australia?

  I think more of the Asian hospitality mentality, you know, like the collective mindset.

  1:17:29

  I think I just felt so taken care of over there that it's almost like, oh, I want others to

  experience that as well and like the tea culture and all that.

  1:17:38

  So I think like if I had a family, I would love to be also have a family home that's that welcoming.

  Yeah.

  1:17:44

  Yeah, for sure.

  What about you?

  1:17:46

  The availability and convenience of Vietnamese food, especially the street food.

  I think you like having moved away from Cabra.

  1:17:55

  I just like, I have to go out and seek Vietnamese food.

  Yeah.

  1:17:58

  You know, very, very intentionally.

  And it's like, yeah, it's pretty good.

  1:18:02

  But I want to be able to be surrounded by that and just have it so accessible.

  Like, I mean, aside, aside, trucks are popping up everywhere, you know, imagine that buffer, like.

  1:18:11

  Yeah, Love.

  Yeah.

  1:18:13

  Anyway, that was the episode.

  Yeah, that was fun episode.

  1:18:17

  Yeah, that's a bit of a long one, but I think lots of really good conversation you've inspired.

  Me to want to like dig deeper into my Chinese roots Yeah.

  1:18:25

  Because so many of those questions that you ask are like, wow, yeah, true.

  I don't, I don't know where like apart from telling people that my parents are from Vietnam.

  1:18:32

  Where are your grandparents from?

  Where were they born?

  1:18:34

  And some of that, yeah.

  Yeah, and I want to go to China now.

  1:18:37

  Yeah, it's like really a once in a lifetime experience for me.

  And like, it was very special.

  1:18:41

  And I would recommend anyone to go back and try to rediscover their roots, you know?

  Yeah.

  1:18:45

  Find long lost family.

  It's very cool.

  1:18:47

  Yeah.

  Yeah.

  1:18:49

  So on to dinner table questions.

  What is something you've been enjoying lately?

  1:18:52

  Oh.

  Gosh.

  1:18:55

  I'll give you my answer.

  I've been listening to Dish the podcast.

  1:18:59

  I haven't heard of that, no.

  It's a British podcast around food that Waitrose produce, Waitrose produces, and it's like a chef

  1:19:06

  and a commentator who hosts it.

  And they have different guests on, like, they have like, Tom Holland on, They have Stephen Fry on.

  1:19:13

  And it's like, they cook a full, like, grand how many course meals, And they have a conversation

  with the guests and it's like, actually really fun listening while cooking.

  1:19:21

  They cook.

  Yeah.

  1:19:23

  And then they feed, so the whole process is kind of captured.

  Wow, okay.

  1:19:27

  And it's like you're kind of like in the kitchen with them, I guess.

  Yeah, in the kitchen and on the dining table with them.

  1:19:32

  Yeah, it's very fun.

  I've been enjoying this is really random mango season.

  1:19:37

  Yes, I haven't had any mangoes here.

  So the other day, yeah, I made mango like with sticky rice like the Thai style I.

  1:19:46

  Love that.

  It is the best coconut, Yeah, it is the best way to enjoy like really big mango.

  1:19:52

  Was it hard to make?

  No, it's so easy.

  1:19:54

  There's a whole lot of sugar in it, but it was just so good to, like, make something that feels so

  like you have to go out and buy at home.

  1:20:02

  Yeah.

  And I don't really cook much anymore because we just don't really have the time and we prefer to

  1:20:06

  just order meals.

  Like, yeah, just cooking like a nice dessert that didn't take too much time.

  1:20:11

  Yeah.

  So enjoy mango season.

  1:20:14

  No, do that.

  OK.

  1:20:15

  Yeah.

  What is your favourite milk tea order?

  1:20:19

  I like a roasted milk tea or a oolong vibe.

  I don't really.

  1:20:23

  I don't love too sugary milk tea.

  Like I just like tea flavour.

  1:20:28

  Less ice, no sugar.

  From where?

  1:20:31

  I don't really care.

  Oh, really?

  1:20:32

  I don't really order milk tea in Australia.

  Yeah, you don't.

  1:20:34

  Only overseas I do.

  But actually, if we're talking about milk flour, I love the mango Peach oolong milk tea.

  1:20:41

  Like, that's really good.

  Yeah.

  1:20:43

  Haven't had that before, yeah, but my go to is always Gong cha and order number one.

  What's that 3/3?

  1:20:50

  No, no, no, no, that one.

  No, no, no.

  1:20:52

  No, No 3 JS order, Yeah, that.

  One is too much.

  1:20:55

  OK, You know, there's too much going on.

  Yeah.

  1:20:57

  I just get the green tea with milk foam and I add white pearls.

  Don't come at me.

  1:21:02

  I order white pearls.

  And.

  1:21:03

  What is white pearls?

  Exactly.

  1:21:07

  Literally just white.

  Pearls.

  1:21:08

  Is this the same as black pearls?

  No, it's a little bit more chewy.

  1:21:11

  But don't come at me.

  Every time I tell people I'm into white pearls.

  1:21:13

  They're like, what's wrong with you?

  Why don't you get like the normal pearls?

  1:21:17

  I'm like, why not get white pearls?

  Don't eat on it.

  1:21:20

  But that's my like, go to order, OK?

  Every time I go gongcha, I don't get anything else because I'm just.

  1:21:24

  Like you don't regret it.

  Yeah, and I actually don't like milk tea that much because I feel so full afterwards.

  1:21:31

  So like, you know, especially in summer, just like a little refreshing tea.

  Delicious.

  1:21:36

  OK.

  Last question.

  1:21:37

  What was the last purchase you regretted?

  Oh, this is a hard one.

  1:21:44

  When I got a facial done the other day and I got sold like I sold to so hard.

  Like I went in and I was like, so my skin has been having some issues and it's experiencing a lot of

  1:21:56

  change, right?

  So I wanted to go kind of understand that a little bit more.

  1:21:59

  So I was like, you know, do you charge for skin consultation?

  And I did a skin consultation and, you know, she did the whole like, analysis.

  1:22:06

  You go and look at the machine and it shows you like your paws and shit.

  And then I kind of just, she showed me like, OK, for this I would recommend this treatment.

  1:22:14

  And I was kind of just like paralysed because I was just like, I don't know how to exit out of this

  conversation.

  1:22:18

  I hate that.

  Yeah.

  1:22:19

  So I end up getting the facial and it was really good, but I was just like, it was so expensive.

  So it's like 300.

  1:22:27

  Bucks.

  Oh my God, is it the facial treatment?

  1:22:29

  Yeah, it's like the type of facial treatment it's Korean skin gets.

  I understand.

  1:22:34

  Did it help?

  It did help, OK.

  1:22:35

  But I also felt like, do I need to do multiple sessions to know, to see?

  Yeah, so now I'm doing multiple.

  1:22:40

  Sessions.

  Oh no.

  1:22:43

  So I.

  Was like, look, I'm taking care of myself and my ageing I'm 30 this.

  1:22:47

  Year, yeah, OK, update us how that.

  Goes yeah, but you know, like I just like don't didn't know how to exit the conversation.

  1:22:53

  I hate that.

  Anyway, my skin didn't a little better afterwards so and it feels a lot better so yeah.

  1:23:00

  Anyway, that's funny, the one that I vividly remember because I see every time I open my wardrobe is

  that I just drifted this shirt that I'd never wore and like don't even wire like I.

  1:23:09

  Just describe it.

  What does it look like?

  1:23:11

  It's just a.

  Couple black long like you like that crepe black crepe fabric bite.

  1:23:17

  It's like it's a Korean fashion.

  It's like this, like it's like to my wrist a bit above my wrist and it's like a long just like

  1:23:25

  normal crew neck, but like a black crepe shirt.

  Yeah, with two pockets stuck here.

  1:23:29

  It's so ugly.

  I and I'm like it doesn't even fit the outfits I wear.

  1:23:33

  Yeah.

  I I vividly remember that day.

  1:23:35

  I went because I just wanted to feel something, you know, what you wanted to buy.

  But anyway, we go to go shopping and just like, feel like you bought something.

  1:23:42

  Yeah.

  And feel excited to buy something.

  1:23:45

  And I just like, randomly saw this and I think I had a vision for it.

  And then like I bought it and afterwards I don't know why.

  1:23:49

  My vision didn't transform I.

  Don't know why I bought this.

  1:23:51

  And I can't fit it with anything in my wardrobe.

  It's just hanging in my wardrobe.

  1:23:54

  I think this is so stupid.

  Like, I just literally don't know why I bought this.

  1:23:58

  Yeah, so I regret it.

  I think I've got to throw it out because I even have a look at it.

  1:24:02

  It kind of like disappoints me a little bit.

  This is not me.

  1:24:06

  Yeah, I was like.

  This is not me, I don't know why I stupidly bought that, but whatever.

  1:24:11

  Anyway, that's the end of the episode.

  Thank you everyone for tuning in to the episode.

  1:24:16

  Hopefully you found it insightful, hopefully inspired you to rediscover your heritage, maybe talk to

  your family, learn a language, whatever.

  1:24:24

  But yeah, thank you.

  Thank you everyone for tuning in.

  1:24:27

  We'll see you in the next month.

  Bye.

  Exit

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